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On Friday night I had the pleasure of attending Connecticut’s roller derby double header. Expectations were high. Connecticut’s travel team, the Stepford Sabotage, took on Westchester County’s Suburban Brawl in the first half, while Austin’s Texecutioners traveled 1,800 miles to put NY city’s own Gotham Girls to the test.

For a recap of the Connecticut bout, please go here!

The Sabotage vs Suburbia bout set the stage for what was sure to be one of the most exciting roller derby showdowns in recent New England history. The Gotham Girls, rated number one nationally, had driven up from New York to meet up with Austin’s own Texecutioners who are rated number one in the south central region and number four nationally. As the women took their warm up laps it quickly became apparent that yes, this would be one very impressive showing of skill on skates.

Gotham:

Ana Bollocks
Barbara Ambush
Bonnie Thunders
Brigitte Barhot
Donna Matrix
Fisti Cuffs
Ginger Snap
Hyper Lynx
Kandy Kakes
Pepierschnitt
Polly Gone
Surly Temple
Suzy Hotrod
Sweet Sherry Pie

The Texecutioners:

Belle Starr
Bloody Mary
Bullet Tooth Tracy
Crackerjack
Curvette
Desi Cration
Friction VixXxen
Lucille Brawl
Molotov M. Pale
Olivia Shootin’ John
Rice Rocket
Shank
Vicious Van Gogo
Kat A. Killzem

The Gotham Girls were dressed in an imposing black - a perfect contrast to the stark white uniforms of the Texecutioners. New referees took their place in the center of the track as the girls rolled to the starting line. The bout started with Bloody Mary of the Texecutioners opposing Bonnie Thunders of the Gotham Girls. Bonnie was easily identified on the track by the bright yellow lightning bolt which extended down her thigh.

Right from the beginning the Texecutioners got hit with a penalty. What would become a frequent frustration for the southerners, the jammer was sent to sit down for one minute. With the full Gotham fury focused on offense, the Texecutioners had little success in holding back Bonnie Thunders. She took in ten quick points for her team.

The second jam started and Bloody Mary charged back in from the penalty box. She quickly got ahead of the pack but, due to another foul, didn’t get lead jammer status. It didn’t stop her though. This time Bloody Mary got help from Rice Rocket and the others in the Texas pack who held back Gotham jammer Suzy Hotrod. Nine points into the jam, Bloody Mary was still going strong but Suzy finally broke through the line and ended the jam.

This bout was just getting started.

The next three jams went to the Texecutioners. Lucille Brawl, Olivia Shootin’ John, and Bloody Mary kept whittling away at the scoreboard. But the Gotham girls were always right behind to limit scoring potential. The energy of the teams and staff was especially apparent as Texecutioner Assistant Coach, Coach Koolaid, shouted from the sidelines, motivating and directing the team to perform. The teams were keeping close. After a short run of lead jammer status for the Texecutioners, the Gotham girls came back equally as strong. Bonnie Thunders was almost overpowering. She pulled another 10 points in the 13th giving a six point lead to her team. Bloody Mary returned with patient consistency and took in five points. The minutes drew to seconds in the first half when, once again, Texas made a few too many fouls. Texas girls were sent to the penalty box and what was moments earlier a 1 point game became a 16 point game when Suzy Hotrod lapped her opposing blockers three times for 15 points. The crowd, which was, as expected, full of more NY fans than TX fans, exploded into cheers. The first half ended with the New York Gotham girls ahead 43 to 27.

This particular bout was broadcast over the internet. Shortly after the intermission Bettie Mercury walked by and mentioned that there were 1,100 viewers online. Eleven Hundred! I think it’s safe to say that these women can draw a crowd.

The Texecutioner’s position looked grim at the start of the second half, but the girls were clearly not ready to give up. Bonnie Thunders of NY started with yet another sting for NY. She scored four points for her team widening the score gap to 20. But the TX consistency was hard to beat. Texas snagged nie of the next 11 lead jamming status. Lucille, Rice Rocket, Bloody Mary, and Olivia collectively scored 37 points which included a 9 point jam by Olivia as Fisti Cuffs got sent out on a penalty. With only a few minutes left in the bout the Texas team had a 15 point lead. But then things took a turn for the worse for the southerns. Their aggressive playing resulted in two consecutive jams with three of their players in the penalty box. Bonnie Thunders first tried to take advantage but was held to six points in what could only be described as superhuman skating by Rice Rocket and Bullet Tooth Tracy. But the tide could not be held back much longer. In the next two jams Suzy Hotrod and Bonnie Thunders brought in 25 points for the ladies in black. With only a few seconds left on the clock, Gotham put Bonnie, their star jammer, back into play. She snuck through the pack, secured the lead jammer status and the Gotham fans erupted!

Final score - Gotham 84, Texecutioners 76.

Statistics!

MVP
Gotham: Kandy Kakes
Texecutioners: Bullet Tooth Tracy

Lead Scorers
Gotham:
Bonnie Thunders 51 points in 18 jams (11 lead)
Suzy HotRod 31 points in 12 jams (4 lead)

Texecutioners:
Bloody Mary 29 points in 12 jams (5 lead)
Lucille Brawl 21 points in 10 jams (8 lead)
Olivia Shootin’ John 21 points in 13 jams (6 lead)

Great job to all the players! If you’d like to learn more about Connecticut roller derby, check out the website here.

For information on Gotham, please head on over to their website here; and for information on the Texecutioners, you can check out their website here.

It’s probably worth noting that the Texas girls kept up their tour and followed up Friday’s bout with a win against Charm City and another against Boston. Well done Texas!

On Friday night I had the pleasure of attending Connecticut’s roller derby double header. Expectations were high. Connecticut’s travel team, the Stepford Sabotage, took on Westchester County’s Suburban Brawl in the first half, while Austin’s Texecutioners traveled 1,800 miles to put NY city’s own Gotham Girls to the test.

The bout logo and tagline.

Tickets were in high demand and crowd came in force to support their favorites. Stepford was up first. The girls in green were welcoming back a few players. It was great to see Black Cherry (back after two bouts) and Chelsea Grin (back after… a year? I think?) skating again. The CT roster was full and I’m certain that the extra players were a welcome relief to their taxed teammates deep into the 30 minute periods.

Sabotage:
Black Cherry
Chelsea Grin
C.Mya Rage
Doomcake
Eleanor Bruisevelt
Ether Bunny
Milla LowLife
Miz ConSepJen
Parker Poison
Revengela
Violet Riot
Luciana Pulverotti
Pearl Jammer

Suburbia roller derby, based out of Westchester County, NY was kickstarted by former CT skaters Slim Fast and Suffah Kate. Slim Fast last skated with CT in June of ‘07. It was great to see her wearing skates again. The girls from Westchester came wearing camouflage skirts and bootie shorts.

Brawl:
Domestic violet
IV Drop
Ann Sane
AWOL
Brawl Stanley
Dina Sore Jr.
el Pass-o
Hard-Core Vette
Pony Girl
Slim Fast
Smashing Pumpkin
Suffah Kate
Taryn Limbs
Vixen von Bruizen

As the crowd cheered, Pearl Jammer and IV Drop took their positions at the jammer starting line. Ether and Domestic Violet wore the pivot caps. The whistles blew and the girls took off. IV got a quick lead off a block by Dina Sore Jr. and snaked to the front of the pack. Unfortunately, her efforts were tainted by a foul so she didn’t score lead jamming status. She did however, have the opportunity to loop around and snag three points before Pearl had a chance to take lead jammer status and cut the jam short.

Hard-Core Vette rolled to the tape next for Suburbia against Milla. Milla pulled a grand slam. One player for suburbia was sent out on penalty in this second jam which paved the way for a beautiful 10 point jam by Elle. Parker, Miz, and Chelsea did a great job of slowing down the pack so that Elle could make the rounds. Pearl and Milla stretched the streak with 13 and 5 points respectively in the following two jams. Milla seemed to pause at the completion of her grand slam in the 5th jam. It was hard to tell if she was giving her team recoup time or trying to run down the clock in the midst of Stepford’s comfortable 30 point lead - though it seemed a bit early in the bout to be running the clock. The lost time did not come back to bite the girls in green in the first half. They kept the pressure on Suburbia widening the point gap.

Suburbia made a bit of a tactical error in the 11th jam. Pearl was sent out on penalty; Hard-Core Vette was skating as an unopposed jammer! Connecticut’s pack (also less a blocker on penalty) kept close for a moment and then took off! Unexpectedly, Suburbia took up the chase. Had they held back they may have been able to initiate an out of play call on the Sabotage. Blockers must be within 20feet of the pack in order to initiate a block. Oftentimes the pack will split as one team tries to slow the pack and the other team tries to speed up the pack. During normal play the pack operates in a balance between these two extremes, but when a girl is out on penalty the out of play rule allows the fully represented team to force the speed of the pack. In this case, Suburbia had an opening to slow the pack down dramatically to let Vette get some big points, but with her team chasing Stepford, Vette couldn’t make it around fast enough.

The first half ended with a score of 72 to 17 in favor of Connecticut.

Both teams were alternating through a consistent core of jammers. Suburbia saw regular play by IV, Hard-Core Vette, Smashing Pumpkin, and Dina Sore Jr.; Stepford called on the regulars Pearl, Milla, and Elle with the occasional Chelsea and Doom. Interestingly, Milla was played far more in the first half than the second. She really was on fire. At one point, one of my close friends gushed “Milla LowLife is, like, Kamikaze today” as Milla astonishingly chased down lead jammer Domestic Violet.

The second half started with Elle and IV Drop. I must admit, midway through the first two jams of the second half I was distracted by Pam Terror as she came around offering cupcakes for 2 dollars. I got a chocolate star cupcake with a fun sprinkled frosting. As I gluttonously finished my delicious cupcake I suddenly heard an overwhelming wave of cheering. I looked up to see a Suburbia player on the ground and Black Cherry blowing kisses to the crowd. I have no idea what happened - but I’m certain it was epic.

Pearl was in rare form in the 8th jam of the second half. I swear once she sprinted off the starting line she didn’t slow once. With the likes of Miz and Revengela in the pack, gaps seem to form miraculously in front of the jammer. 12 points later the girls in green had a lead of 78. The bout wound down with consistent performances by all the girls. IV Drop should be commended for her extremely strong start in the 13th. Doomcake ended Connecticut’s evening taking lead jammer status and throwing up her patented fist pump as the time ticked to zero. The final score: 124 - 38

Statistics!

MVP’s
Stepford: Pearl Jammer
Suburbia: Suffah Kate

Lead Scorers

Stepford:
Pearl Jammer 58 points in 12 jams (7 lead)
Milla LowLife 38 points in 10 jams (5 lead)
Eleanor Bruisevelt 19 points in 6 jams (3 lead)

Suburbia:
Dina Sore Jr 11 points in 8 jams (2 lead)
IV Drop 10 points in 8 jams (4 lead)

Penalties
Stepford:
Miz four visits
Chelsea 3 visits

Suburbia:
Hard-Core Vette 3 visits

To read about the Gotham Texecutioners bout, click here!

Great job to all the players. It was great to see Slim Fast and Suffah Kate bring their team to CT for this extreme night. The CT girls will be at it again on July 25th at the Connecticut Sports Center in Woodbridge. If you’d like more information on this upcoming bout or any other facet of CT roller derby, check out the website here.

For information on Suburbia’s Roller Derby, check out their website here.

On Saturday night the Connecticut Roller Girls met once again to face off in a flurry of fury. This bout put the Devil’s Rejects against the Ave Marias.

The Ave Marias were introduced first.

DoomCake (captain)
Parker Poison (assistant captain)
Anita Chainsaw
Ether Bunny
Guns N’ Bruises
Lemmy Atter
MiZ CoN SepJeN
Pam Terror
Pearl Jammer
and visiting skater Zoomz Byda Boomz

Guns N’ Bruises was returning to the CT league after a short time off. Welcome back Guns!

The Devil’s Rejects were introduced next. Their red and black outfits were in stark contrast to the angelic blue and white of the Ave Marias.

Revengela
Milla LowLife
Babe Vigoda
C. Mya Rage
Eleanor Bruisevelt
Flora Goodthyme
Liberty Violence
Luciana Pulverotti
Violet Riot
Vixen Vega

This was Babe Vigoda’s (#56) first bout, and Vixen’s return after a brief break in the action. Welcome Babe and welcome back Vixen!!

Elle and Pam, rolled up to the line to start this extremely unique bout. It didn’t take long for the Ave Marias to gain control of the scoreboard. After Elle’s 2 points at the onset, the Devil’s Rejects were scoreless for the next six jams. The defensive action within the Ave Maria pack was commendable. The girls capitalized on a few hugely strategic blocks in those first few minutes. Ether and Parker put the stop on Milla in the second jam, Pearl closed the door on Violet in the fourth, and Miz cleared the way for Pearl in the fifth. The Devil’s Rejects responded in kind. The crowd erupted in excitement when Elle ended Pearl’s jamming success in the fifth by dramatically pushing her teammate into Pearl’s path.

Halfway through the first period, Violet breathed some life into the struggling Devil’s Rejects. Her run of success began as she and Elle worked hard to successfully hold Doom to 4 points while the Devil’s jammer sat out on a penalty. Doom reached the front of the pack quickly off the starting line, but Violet, acting as pivot, held her back long enough for Elle to join in the defense. Just two jams later Violet robbed Pam of a profitable jam by breaking a brutal block by Elle and staying tight on Pam’s tail.

Riding off of violet’s defense, Flora, Milla, and Elle pulled 2, 5, and 3 points respectively. Unfortunately, the Devil’s 10 point drive wasn’t quite enough to close the gap between the two teams. Ether, Pam, and Pearl came back twice as hard with 5 consecutive claims on lead jammer and 20 points. Things were looking grim for the Devil’s Rejects until Doom was pulled out on a penalty with only a few minutes remaining in the first period. Elle and Flora took advantage of the opportunity and concluded the first half with a 9 and 4 point jam respectively. Halftime score? 38 for the Ave Marias, and 25 for the Devil’s Rejects.

Milla tries to push by Zoomz
photography by Dan Camera

One thing that made this bout particularly strange was the occasional thinning of the pack. The refs were frequently forced to make calls to pull the pack back together. Sometimes it seemed deliberate as a team tried to force the pack into a slower or faster pace. Pack speed can be a critical variable as the jammers scream around the track pulling points on a slow pack - or losing their endurance as they try to catch up to the fast pack. Other times, however, the pivots seemed to be trying to get their blockers to act as a single unit without success.

Elle pulls to the inside to try and sneak by Lemme Atter
photography by Dan Camera

The second half started off with the Ave Marias aggressively pulling points. However, Pam’s 9 and Pearl’s 8 (special bravo to Parker for a beautiful block of Rage) were the last big point jams for the women in white. Violet Riot came in strong yet again for the Devil’s Rejects with a 9 point jam. Shortly thereafter the Ave Marias seemed to change their jammer strategy. For the first half, the teams were rotating their jammers regularly - mixing it up between 4 or 5 women, but the second half saw the Ave Marias depending almost entirely on Pearl and Pam, only occasionally mixing it up with a serving of Doomcake. These jammers kept the lead for the Ave Marias, but the Devil’s Rejects were working hard for a comeback.

Holding back Doom.
photography by Dan Camera

Some especially commendable skating included Guns N’ Bruises decisive bump of Violet in the ninth jam (giving Pearl an edge for a 5 point jam) and Elle and Pearl’s furious race in the tenth which had the crowd on the edge of their seats. Talk about speed!

The night concluded with the Ave Marias with 84 and the Devil’s Rejects at 65.

Statistics!

Lead Scorers
Ave Marias
Pearl Jammer 41 points, 7 leads in 12 jams
Pam Terror 35 points, 7 leads in 13 jams

Devil’s Rejects
Violet Riot 18 points, 2 leads in 7 jams
Eleanor Bruisevelt 16 points, 3 leads in 8 jams

Penalty Queens
Flora and Ether graced the bench most frequently with 5 and 4 visits respectively.

MVPs
Ave Marias: Guns N’ Bruises
Devil’s Rejects: Violet Riot

Special thanks to Dan Camera for his photography. Check out all his photos here.

If you haven’t experienced Derby, then I implore you to check out the June 19th double header at the CT Sports Center. Connecticut’s own Stepford Sabotage will be taking on the Suburban Brawl, and The Gothem Girls will be taking on the Texicutioners. With Gothem ranked #1 in the nation, and the Texecutioners ranked #4, it’s bound to be an extremely exciting night.

For additional information check out the roller girl website.

Great job to all the players and participants on Saturday, it is such a joy to watch you skate.

On Easter weekend the girls of Connecticut donned their helmets and pads yet again in a contest of endurance, speed, and aggression. This month the mix-match of teams put the Iron Maidens against the Pop Tarts. The Iron Maidens came out for their introductions dressed in full metal regalia. Special props to Violet Riot for her fantastic hair. The Iron Maidens were made up of the following players:

Anita Chainsaw
Lemmy Atter
Miz Con SepJen
Pam Terror
Parker Poison
Revengela
Violet Riot
Em Dash (Gotham)
Crown Joules (Boston)
and Rocky (Boston)

The Pop Tarts came out in their pink tutus and bright colors to the peppy rhythms of Cyndi Lauper. Their team included the following:

C. Mya Rage
Ether Bunny
Doomcake
Liberty Violence
Luciana Pulverotti
Milla LowLife
Pearl Jammer
Haley Contagious (Boston)
Killery Clinton (Boston)
and Zoomz Byda Boomz (Boston)

Just looking at rosters alone, the teams looked pretty evenly matched. The Iron Maidens had a strong selection of pack skaters and visiting skaters Em Dash and Rocky had body types that screamed jammer. Meanwhile the Pop Tarts had a wonderful selection of pack leaders as well as a strong jamming base with Pearl, Doom, and Rage.

Interestingly, as the bout got started the control of the jams shifted dramatically towards the Iron Maidens. Pearl gave the Pop Tarts a beautiful start against Violet with a quick 4 points. But the lead was short lived. Pam Terror, who seems to have brought her game to a new level, followed Pearl with a Grand Slam and the Iron Maidens didn’t turn back.

Early on, the hits came on strong. In the fourth jam, Revengela scored 5 points for her team after Milla was brutally knocked to the ground. In the mayhem, I didn’t notice whose shoulder inflicted that crushing blow, but rest assured it was effective.

Next up at the jamming line was Gotham girl: Em Dash. Em Dash has the height and form of a jammer and right when she took off, it was clear that she was here to do business. Her sprint was opposed by Pearl who kept Em Dash to an honest 4 points, but it was clear there was more than one strong jamming contender on the Iron Maidens team. The Iron Maidens continued their onslaught with 6 unanswered jams, distancing themselves from the struggling Pop Tarts. Halfway through the first period the score stood 41 to 11. The Pop Tarts had some serious ground to cover. But cover they did!

Especially noteworthy was a 7 point jam from Pearl. The jam put Pearl (with pivot Ether) against Violet Riot (supported by pivot Crown Joules). Pearl broke through the pack after a successful block by Ether. As Pearl looped around to enter the pack a second time, Milla screamed out from nowhere and opened a gap for Pearl. It’s these well orchestrated cooperative moments when it’s easy to understand the glory that is Roller Derby.

Killery Clinton followed for the Pop Tarts, and though it was a low scoring jam, Killery executed a glorious evasion of Miz ConSepJen’s ruthless shoulder. Shortly thereafter Doom took in 4 points, and Pearl 5 more. The first half ended with a prime opportunity for Rage. With two of the Iron Maidens out on penalty, Rage screamed around the track first once, and then again getting 9 points and pulling the Pop Tarts back within striking distance.

Score at the half? Iron Maidens 48, Pop Tarts 41.

It should be mentioned that these bouts always have a DJ. This particular bout had DJ Ebomb spinning, and he was doing a great job of sticking to the theme. Heavy metal tunes were played back to back with 80’s pop hits by the likes of Debbie Gibson. It was hilarious. The music always adds a lot to the Derby experience. Way to go DJ Ebomb!

The second half got underway with Em Dash starting against fellow Boston Derby Dame, Haley Contagious. Em Dash was in prime form yet again, and took 7 points for the Maidens. Three jams later Em Dash went at it again, this time pulling in 11 points for her team. Her success was due in part to the strong blocking of her teammates. At no time was that more apparent than when Miz so solidly hit Killery Clinton that Killery lay stunned momentarily on the sidelines… pausing to find her breath… before getting up and resuming her jam.

Sitting on the sidelines is somewhat risky. At one point Ether Bunny came crashing into the girl sitting next to me. Ether scrambled out of the fan’s lap, caught her eye, smiled and said “Hi!!” before skating off and returning to the pack. This small interaction does well to show that these women, despite their brutal hits and seemingly aggressive nature, really have a great time on the track and are typically in high spirits regardless of which of their friends is knocking them to their knees.

The Iron Maidens continued their attack. The strong jamming of Em Dash, Pam, and Rocky when coupled with Miz, Anita, and Parker’s ability to hold back the Pop Tart jammers, made the team a tough competitor. The Pop Tarts were by no means out of their league. In fact, both teams had almost the exact same number of lead jams. The Iron Maidens had just been slightly more effective at turning those opportunities into points.

The final score?
Iron Maidens 95, Pop Tarts 61

Statistics!
MVP
Iron Maidens: Em Dash
Pop Tarts: Ether Bunny

The MVP selections for this bout were extremely well deserved. Em Dash was decidedly the high scorer for the game and Ether Bunny (who acted as Pop Tart pivot for 14 of the 38 jams) was a strong and consistent defender.

High Scorers!
Iron Maidens
Em Dash: 46 points in 12 jams, 7 lead.
Rocky: 24 points in 9 jams, 6 lead
Pam Terror: 20 points in 6 jams, 2 lead

Pop Tarts!
Pearl Jammer: 36 points in 11 jams, 9 lead (whoa)
C. Mya Rage: 10 points in 7 jams, 1 lead

Penalties!
Once again, we had a pretty clean night. Rocky and Revengela were the closest to penalty Queens having visited the box three times each.

The girls will be hitting the track again locally on May 9th. If you’re a Derby fan, you should also make note of the June 6th bout in Holyoke against Pioneer Valley. It’s a double header featuring the Death Quads vs. Dirty Dozen and the Sabotage vs. Western Mass Destruction! That will likely be a very fun bout to watch.

Great job to all the skaters, refs, and participants. If you’d like to learn more about derby or learn more about the Connecticut league, check out the CT roller girl website here.

When the daughters of the American derby revolution amass together, diverse crowds of adults and children gather and cheer as one. Such was the case on Saturday March 14th when the Connecticut Roller Girls mixed up their ranks into two unique teams. The St. Patrick’s cereal themed bout put the Lucky Charms versus the Cap’n Crunchers.

As our group gathered we looked at the rosters for each team and made our predictions.

The Lucky Charms
Black Cherry
Ether Bunny
C. Mya Rage
Doomcake
Liberty Violence
Pam Terror
Parker Poison
Paula G. Imnaughty
Revengela
Mona Mour (visiting from the Boston Derby Dames)

The Cap’n Crunch
Pearl Jammer
Violet Riot
Anita Guiness
Eleanor Bruisevelt
Flora Goodthyme
Luciana Pulverotti
Milla LowLife
Miz Con SepJen
Ivonna Shankabitch (visiting from the Boston Derby Dames)
Vicious Stylz (visiting from Providence Roller Derby)

I anticipated a win for Lucky Charms. Cap’n Crunch had an extremely strong Jamming team but the Charms seemed to have an equally powerful collection of pivots and blockers. Put Parker, Revengela, and Paula into the pack with Cherry or Ether as their pivot and no skater is safe. What I wasn’t anticipating was the powerful duo of Milla and Looch for the Crunchers.

With gold sequenced booty shorts and green shirts, the Lucky Charms came to the line. Doomcake would start as their jammer. Meanwhile the Cap’n Crunchers rolled up in blue tops with large gold buttons in the style of their cereal mascot. For the Charms, Pearl Jammer wore the star on her helmet.

As the bout started the cowbells rang and the crowd cheered. Pearl and Doom took off. Flora Goodthyme started the bout right with a nice clean hit on Doomcake. Doom dropped back just enough for Pearl to whip through and pull four points for her team. What followed was somewhat unexpected. Both teams started cycling through jammers.

For the Charms, Doom was followed by Pam, Black Cherry, Rage, Revengela and Mona. Meanwhile the Crunchers saw 8 different jammers before any girl put on the star for the second time. Pearl, Elle, Milla, Anita, Flora, Ivonna, and Miz all skated as jammer. The teams seemed to be conserving the strength of their jammers by rotating positions regularly early in the game. The result was a low scoring, highly defensive first half of the first period. The Lucky Charms were consistently getting lead jammer status (6 of the first 7 jams), but the Crunchers’ defense was keeping them honest. The score broke free when Pearl and Doom retook their positions as jammers. The whistles blew. Looch was acting as the pivot for the Crunchers, Parker as the pivot for the Charms. Doomcake got in front quickly, but with great skill Looch kept just in front of her. The short delay was enough for Pearl to break free and take lead jammer status. Pearl capitalized on her opportunity and pulled in an impressive 9 points before the jam concluded.

Cap’n Crunch continued their cycling of jammers and put Vicious in next against Black Cherry. The defense for the Crunchers held Cherry back, but Vicious took a nasty beating. First Pam and Paula G. Imnaughty came at her on a turn. One after another they slammed their shoulders into Vicious, knocking her down and off the track. She got back up only to feel the wrath of Black cherry and Pam. Again she was dropped to her knees. She got up once more and on the next pass Black Cherry plowed into her yet again. From the stands it seemed like Vicious’s skates left the floor on her way down. Let no one say these girls don’t put it all on the line.

Miz exacted revenge for her teammate in the next few jams. She knocked down Mona first, and then just seconds later landed a blow on Pam Terror. The Charms just couldn’t find their rhythm - testimony to the impressive work of the Crunchers’ pack.

The first half ended with a score of 10 for the Lucky Charms and 31 for the Cap’n Crunchers.

During intermission we were entertained by a small Irish band that kept the feeling light in this week of St. Patty’s day.

The last jam of the first half had ended with a trip to the penalty box for Elle. But Elle wasted no time. Entering the jam late she sprinted through the pack and grabbed lead jammer status. Interestingly, penalty box jammers seem to pull lead jamming status somewhat regularly. I’ll have to take a closer look at the data for the next few bouts, but it would seem that the opposing pack may not have a defensive mindset at the start of such jams. The result is a definitive chance for a late entering jammer to sweep through the pack unopposed. It’s certainly not worth the scoreless time in the penalty box, but it’s an interesting phenomenon nonetheless.

The start of the second half pushed the Crunchers further ahead. Elle, Pearl, and Milla collectively amassed 33 points in the first 7 jams after the intermission bringing the score to 64 - 16. But that was the end of the points for the girls in blue. The rally for the Lucky Charms began with two consecutive slams on Anita. Parker Poison took the first shot, and Black Cherry the second. Black Cherry’s hunger for blows was not subsided however, and she took it out on Ivonna in the next jam with another huge hit.

The Charms began their rally. Pam and Rage alternated jammer status deep into the second half. They were far behind and needed to cover a lot of ground, but it wasn’t an impossible task. With Ether and Cherry alternating as pivot, Rage and Pam got to work. Rage took advantage of Cherry’s hit on Ivonna and scored 8 for her team. Pam took three, Rage another 5, and Pam 5 more. But the seconds were ticking away. Despite their last push, the final score favored the Cap’n Crunchers 64 to 39.

Mike D’s top five hits of the night!
5. Late in the second half, Doomcake barreled through Violet Riot, giving Pam an opportunity for a grand slam.
4. Black Cherry drops her shoulder and, moments later, drops Anita
3. Pam and Paula’s double team of Vicious in the first half
2. Black Cherry sends Vicious into orbit
1. Luciana Pulverotti’s beautiful blocking of Doomcake in the first half, providing a 9 point opportunity for Pearl

The bout was awesome. I have developed a great respect for the defensive side of roller derby. It’s so exciting to see the strategies and the communication between skaters out in the pack. I would imagine that performing both defensively and offensively is no easy task, on wheels no less! Great job to all the players, it’s a joy to watch you skate.

Statistics!

Lead Scorers!
Lucky Charms
Pearl Jammer: 30 points and a perfect record. 6 jams, 6 leads.
Elleanor Bruisevelt: 19 points. 5 jams, 4 lead

Cap’N Crunchers
C. Mya Rage: 19 points. 6 jams, 5 lead
Pam Terror: 12 points. 8 jams, 5 lead

Total Leads
17 Lucky Charms
16 Cap’N Crunchers

Interestingly, lead jammer status was almost perfectly split between the teams. In fact, the Charms had one more than the Crunchers. This wasn’t a bout of getting up front, it was a bout that was about capitalization of opportunity.

Penalty Box:
No one skater visited the box an uncommon number of times in this bout.

MVPs
Lucky Charms: Black Cherry
Cap’N Crunchers: Luciana Pulverotti

Well deserved!

The next bout will be on April 11th. For more information check out the roller girl website here.

On Saturday March 14th, there was a charity roller derby bout hosted at the CT Sportscenter to honor and raise funds for the Children’s Hospital in Hartford. We had the added treat of a pre-bout mens match that put the St. Patricks against the Snakes. The teams were formed from five different new england derby teams:

Connecticut Death Quads (CTDQ)
New York Shock Exchange (NYSE)
Pioneer Valley Roller Derby (PVRD)
Central Mass Roller Derby (CMRD)
Quadfathers, Utica, New York (Quadfathers)

The Teams!

The St. Patricks
Motorpsycho (NYSE)
Sega Menaces (CMRD)
The Rev (PVRD)
Rollin Redshirt (PVRD)
Jurasskick Park (PVRD)
Davy Jones (PBRD)
Skatebreed (CTDQ)
Johnny Holeshot (CTDQ)
Pastor of Muppets (CTDQ)

The Snakes
Rinkworm (NYSE)
Dr. Spankenstein (PVRD)
Bazooka Joe (PVRD)
Brutus Priest (PVRD)
Zakk Sabbath (CTDQ)
Cirkle Jerk (CTDQ)
Nizz (CTDQ)
Stoneman(CTDQ)
gRambo(Quadfathers)

Instead of a full bout, this one was split into two 15 minute halves. It’s been awhile since I’ve seen men’s derby. The jams have a different feel from when the women skate. What impressed me most was the progression of those men on the Connecticut Death Quads. CT’s Johnny Holeshot started jamming for the St. Patricks, Dr. Spankenstein started for the Snakes. The last time I saw Johnny Holeshot skate he had some strength to him, but had not quite reached hero level derby skills. But sure enough, right from the onset he displayed great speed and was able to quickly snag lead jammer status from his opponent. Next up at the line was Jurasskick Park and Rinkworm. Rinkworm came out again and again for the Snakes. He was fast and quick and acted as jammer for 9 of the 22 jams (40%).

As the bout progressed a few key players showed their skating prowess. Firstly, I feel I should mention #71 The Rev (PVRD). He regularly acted as pivot for the St. Patricks and was a strong force of both offense and defense inside the pack. I was repeatedly impressed with his whips and the crushing blows he unleashed on his opponents. Jurasskick Park did not disappoint as St. Patrick’s jammer. His speed is commendable, not only while weaving between opponents, but also after falling. I’ve never seen someone get up as quickly as Jurasskick Park when knocked to the ground. He consistently would rise from a spill before even so many as two skaters had passed. Kudos to Cirkle Jerk and Zakk Sabbath as well. Apparently this was Zakk’s first bout, but that didn’t stop him from taking advantage of a great block by Cirkle Jerk deep into the first half and scoring a grand slam for the Snakes. The halftime score was 30 to 7 in favor of the St. Patricks.

The second half proceeded much like the first. For those of us watching, I think the best jam saw Johnny Holeshot up against Rinkworm. Johnny kicked it off with great speed. As they barreled through the pack, Johnny grabbed his teammate Jurasskick Park and pulled himself forward with such aggression that Jurasskick was pulled to the ground directly into the path of Rinkworm. Rinkworm tumbled and Johnny took lead jammer status. It was awesome! Interestingly, by the end of the game the lead jamming was nearly split. 12 leads for the St. Patricks and 10 leads for the Snakes. Despite this, the end score was 65 for the St. Patricks and 28 for the Snakes.

Great job guys!

Top Scorers!
Jurasskick Park: 24 points in 5 jams (3 lead)
Johnny HoleShot: 13 points in 6 jams (2 lead)
RinkWorm: 13 points in 9 jams (4 lead)
Davy Jones: 13 points in 5 jams (3 lead)

(stay tuned for the RollerGirl recap)

In the immortal words of superfan Darcy Moschenross “there was some good hittin’ tonight.” And indeed there was. It was the second of the internal bouts this season at the Connecticut Sports Center in Woodbridge and the mixed teams were extremely well crafted. The bout pitted the Mobsters against the Cops.

The crime-ridden Bella Donnas had a formidable team that included the likes of Black Cherry, Pam Terror, Eleanor Bruisevelt, Revengela, Paula G. Imnaughty, Anita Guinness, Luciana Pulverotti, Miz ConSepJen, as well as visiting players Dreadnought, Rhoda Perdition, and Killary Clinton. Girl Fawkes (injured with a torn ACL from the Pittsburgh bout) and Tina Colada helped manage the team from the sideline.

But the Hot Fuzz were not intimidated. Their team consisted of an imposing bunch with Parker Poison, Liberty Violence, Doomcake, C. Mya Rage, Ether Bunny, Flora Goodthyme, Milla LowLife, Pearl Jammer, and visiting players Lil’ Paine, Slamarella, and Xena Paradox. The Cops were supported by manager’s Vixen Von Bruizen and Dina Sore Jr.

Before the bout began we looked through the rosters. With Pearl, Doom, Milla, and Rage the Hot Fuzz had some strong jammers in their midst. But could they out-skate the hard hitting defense of the Bella Donna’s? If history has taught us anything, it’s that the likes of Miz, Paula, Looch, and Revengela show no mercy. Our early prediction? A close bout.

The bout began with Black Cherry at the line beside Doomcake. The whistles blew and their skates came to life. Black Cherry started strong working off of a decisive block by Elle which dropped Doomcake behind the pack. Cherry pulled in 6 for the mobsters. Shortly thereafter, Elle came up against Rage and added 8 points. Pearl, known for her unnatural agility on wheels, snagged lead jamming status for the Fuzz, but it was not meant to be. She had only scored a single point when she was abruptly flattened by Pam Terror’s unforgiving shoulder.

The points kept adding up for the Bella Donna’s. Their team saw a huge surge in points as the first half came to a close. Over the last 6 jams of the first half Elle, Cherry, and Revengela collectively amassed 33 points to the meager 10 for the Fuzz. The half closed at 50 points for the mobsters and only 22 for the Fuzz.

Jammer Black Cherry escapes a close call

How could this be?! The teams had seemed so well matched. Outside of an 8 point jam by Doom and a 5 point sprint by Rage the girls in blue had seen little success. Both teams were successful in getting in front, in fact lead jamming status was nearly perfectly split between the teams for the first half, but the mobsters were successful in capitalizing on their opportunities.

The second half started with the teams at a strategic impasse. First, Pam tried to keep up the momentum for the mobsters against Doomcake. But the two roller girls were too closely matched. Doom snagged lead jammer status… but only just barely and had to call off the jam early lest her team lose precious time and energy with unproductive jams.

Doom sneaks ahead of Pam at the start of the second half

The next jam it was Elle’s turn to snag jammer status away from Pearl only to find herself ending the jam before any points could be earned. Lil’ Paine went next and once again found herself having to end the jam without points.

Milla LowLife finally brought it home for the cops. She was jamming against hard-hitting Revengela but the Cop pack had Milla’s back. As Milla raced by her teammates, Doom held Revengela back (figuratively, not literally. Holding is against the rules.) Milla was facing some tough opposition at the front, but her teammate Ether Bunny executed a brilliant whip hurling Milla forward and just barely… just barely out of reach of the tidal wave of mobster defense crashing at her heels.

Milla (#40 oz.) races to give her team some needed motivation

Milla took in five points for the Cops. And at that pivotal point the Hot Fuzz was back in the game. Pearl followed Milla and took three points. Lil’ Pain tied Pam with 3’s, and then Pearl’s skates came alive. She skated furiously through an gap Parker Poison opened for her and lapped the pack twice for 10. Milla came in and promptly added 9 more to the score.

The 38 point gap had narrowed to a mere 9 points. Pearl came to the line against Rhoda Perdition. Pearl rushed to the front of the pack and quickly drew into the imposing shadows of Elle and Miz. In a whirl of skates and speed, Pearl nimbly swerved around the opposing blockers, took lead status, and narrowed the mobsters lead to four. Lil’ Paine followed and, as the minutes ticked away, she brought the game to a tie.

stunned reactions from the crowd!

The cops had found success in their relentless jammers and the strong support from the Hot Fuzz pack. Pearl put the mobsters in their place with two more points and as the minutes dipped to seconds Doom closed the jail cell for good with a ten point jam. Black Cherry almost broke her team out in the final jam with a proud 8 points, but when the buzzer sounded, victory sided with the Fuzz.

Statistics!

High scorers
Cops
Pearl 25 points in 10 jams. Lead 6/10
Doom 21 points in 9 jams. Lead 4/10

Mobsters
Cherry 32 points in 9 jams. Lead 5/9
Eleanor 25 points in 7 jams. Lead 3/7

Penalties
It was a low penalty game. The most trips any player took to the box was 3. There was no true Queen of the penalty box in this bout.

MVP
Cops: Milla LowLife
Mobsters: Miz ConSepJen

MVP’s

A great job to all the players and staff who really put it on the line to make these events a success. Saturday night’s bout was truly everything a fan could hope for. Well done!! A special welcome to Anita Guinness and Liberty Violence who debuted on Saturday. Great job! We’re all looking forward to more hard hitting from you.

If any readers would like to participate in the action, or just come to check out the Charity bout on March 14th, you can find more information at the Roller Girl website: CTRollerDerby.com

Special thanks to Darcy for the photographs.

It was a dark night for Connecticut Roller Derby in Pittsburgh on Saturday, January 24th. Eleven of CT’s finest jumped on a bus for a nine hour ride to Western Pennsylvania for a bout against Pittsburgh’s Steel Hurtin’. I happened to be working in Ohio that weekend, so I took a drive into Pennsylvania for the night to support my favorite Roller Girls. Unfortunately, things looked grim for CT’s Stepford Sabotage right from the start. Ether Bunny (along with CT ref Major N’fraction) got food poisoning on the trip out. The team was down to 10 players.

The game was played at BladeRunners in Harmerville, PA. The arena is typically used for hockey, but for the night a hard floor was set down. The crowd was anxious to get started and stood to their feet as the announcers introduced the crowd to Buddy Nutt. Buddy Nutt plays the saw and treated us to a fantastic version of the National Anthem.

Our girls were playing in the second half of the night following a bout between Pittsburgh’s B team (B Unit) and a derby team from Akron, OH (Northeast Ohio Rock’n'Roller Girls). Pearl Jammer started the show as jammer against The Crippler. Right away our team had a violent introduction to Steel Hurtin’s captain: Athena. Athena was a dominant force on Pittsburgh’s team. She worked as a blocker in Pittsburgh’s pack and might be best likened to a bull-dozer. She had a devastating ability to knock jammers out and then brake hard to force the fallen jammer back towards the rear of the pack. Pearl’s untimely introduction to Athena resulted in a quick triple grandslam from Pittsburgh. It was the first lapping of the Sabotage, and sadly not the last. Pittsburgh was rotating their jammers between The Crippler, Hurricane Heather, and Cheeseburger whose helmet was adorably painted exactly like a cheeseburger. All three girls skated hard and were well supported by the beefy Pittsburgh pack.

Meanwhile Sabotage was weakened further by the fall of Girl Fawkes who got hit hard and hurt her knee early in the first half. The team was down to 9 players and the points kept adding up for Pittsburgh. Pittsburgh’s blockers were brutal. They were doing an impressive job of keeping Sabotage’s jammers in check. Three quarters into the first half, the score was 72 to 3.

Eleanor Bruisevelt rolled up to the jammer starter line.

I give Eleanor a huge amount of credit for her work in this bout. From a fan’s perspective, she seems to be an extremely optimistic player. Even as Sabotage faced an increasingly challenging derby environment, Eleanor came to the jamming starting line with a smile on her face. After coming back from a track cutting penalty, Elle snuck through the pack and got the first lead jamming status for Sabotage in nearly 10 jams. Coming off of Elle’s momentum, Pearl came up and pulled four points away from Cheeseburger. C. Mya Rage came next and grabbed two points away from The Crippler. Pearl came up once more and had a beautiful jam against Hurricane Heather and put 4 more points on the board. The Connecticut section of the crowd was going nuts. With a score of 88 to 15, CT didn’t have much hope for a victory, but the string of successes that started with Elle’s drive did a great job showing Pittsburgh that our team had some life.

After the intermission, the girls came back in. Pearl was jamming again and did a commendable job pulling two points against Hurricane Heather’s 8 point drive. The blockers for both teams were brutal.

Perhaps now would be a good time to take a short pause in the action to applaud the work of Miz ConSepJen. Stepford’s blockers were both outnumbered and outweighed by their Pittsburgh opponents, but that didn’t stop Miz from quickly gaining a reputation amongst the Pittsburgh crowd for her ability to hit hard and brutally take down the Steel jammers. As the first few jams proceeded, Miz came out to completely and utterly flatten Cheeseburger. The hit was devastating and effectively removed Pittsburgh from contending in this jam. Miz’s fantastic blocking coupled with Pearl’s speed brought in ten points for our the Sabotage. It was the highest point jam for CT.

Just three jams later the whistles were blown to stop play mid-jam as Milla LowLife lay prone on the track. Another CT girl had fallen. Sabotage was down to 8 girls. With 5 women on the track at any time, it was clear that Sabotage was stretched and stressed.

The bout continued much as it had with Pittsburgh consistently dominating the track. Sadly, the end score of 149 to 32 doesn’t seem to act as a testimony to the hard work of our Connecticut girls. I had a great time watching the girls skate. At least for me, no defeat will ever dampen the excitement of Roller Derby. The next internal bout is on February 21st in Woodbridge. For more information check out their website here.

Kudos to the all the players and participants who took the trek westward.

On Saturday night all sorts of derby lovers gathered at the Connecticut Sports Center to check out 2009’s first internal CT Roller Derby bout. This year’s format was a bit different from the past. Instead of three teams battling for the highly sought-after title of league champion, the organizers took the 20 (or so) players and divided them into mixed teams for extreme face-offs!

At first I was a bit hesitant of this format. I’m an avid Iron Angels fan, Darcy’s all about the Bone Crushers, and Irene always cheered for the Widowmakers. What would happen to our favorite teams? Hesitation trumped by curiosity, we made our way to the arena on Saturday with our largest group of derby lovers yet. There were at least 15 of us.

This match up saw the Disco Dolls up against the Violent Femmes.

Disco Dolls:

Pepper Grind-her
Beaver Kneivel (Boston derby dames)
Eleanor Bruisevelt
Ether Bunny
Flora Goodthyme
Lemmy Atter
Miz Con SepJen
Pam Terror
Revengela
Rhoda Perdition (from Providence)
Violet Riot

The Violent Femmes

Black Cherry
C. Mya Rage
Doomcake
Girl Fawkes
Luciana Pulverotti
Milla LowLife
Parker Poison
Paula G. Imnaughty
Pearl Jammer
Xena Paradox (Boston derby dames)

One fun side effect of the mixed teams was that we could now see some fantastic jamming match-ups. Pam Terror jamming against Pearl Jammer? What a treat!

As we established ourselves on the side line, Matt (a derby virgin) stated with excitement “Mark me down as ready. This looks awesome.” After a quick demonstration of the ins and outs of the game, the girls took their positions at the starting line, the whistles blared, and the girls got to work.

Eleanor Bruisevelt started the bout jamming against Pearl Jammer. Pearl, who seemed to struggle at the end of last season, showed the crowd that she was back in full force. She came out extremely fast and pulled a quick five points for the Femmes. Doomcake came up next against Pam Terror followed by Black Cherry vs. Flora. What a fantastic series of challenges!

The Violent Femmes didn’t look back. Milla inflicted a crushing blow on the Disco Dolls with 13 points in the fourth jam. This jam was followed by 7 points for powerhouse Pearl. The Femmes wasted no time securing a dominating lead on the scoreboard.

The speed and professionalism of both teams’ jammers were made possible by the pack. The blockers were strongly supporting their teams on Saturday. At one point, Miz Con SepJen, touted as a “one woman wrecking crew,” came in from a penalty and promptly slammed into the opposing team’s jammer. The jammer crashed to the ground and the crowd burst into cheers. Later, the Dolls in their golden booty shorts, worked with elegant cooperation defending against jammer Parker Poison. Ether Bunny, Rhoda Perdition, Miz, and Beaver Kneivel, nimbly exchanged the position in front of Parker, slowing her relentless drive.

The cooperation within the teams was truly staggering. Halfway through the first period, the Femmes found their jammer out on a penalty. What an opportunity for the Disco Dolls!! Flora Goodthyme quickly picked up her pace as the jammer for the Dolls. If she could sneak through the pack a few times, she’d put the Dolls back within striking distance. But the Femmes were ready. The Dolls were outnumbered in the pack, so when the Femmes increased the speed of the pack the Doll blockers had no choice but to keep up (a scattered pack results in penalties for the outlying roller girls). With the pack at near full speed, Flora was unable to catch up to score points!! The time ran out on the clock and the Femmes maintained their lead. Brilliant work by the Femmes!

We had a special treat during the intermission as one of the old emcees, ‘David Coppafeel,’ came back to entertain the crowds with his band: Last One Standing. They performed a whole bunch of songs including crowd favorites: Zombie by The Cranberries, Alien Ant Farm’s Cover of Smooth Criminal, and AC/DC’s You shook me all night long. They had some unique instrumentation and were well received by the masses.

During intermission our group headed over to the concession stands. My friend Schuyler adds his words regarding the delicious options for snacks.

Like all other fans attending each Connecticut Roller Derby bout, I’m excited for the fast action, the hard hits, and the great roller girls. However, even if the bouts were converted to tasteful games of lawn bowling, I would still go for the cupcakes. While others choose to support our local teams by buying shirts, stickers, beer, and raffle tickets, the cupcakes (made by the roller girls themselves) easily give you the most bang for your Roller Derby buck. The action on the track is only rivaled by the action in my mouth when I’m eating a vegan Oreo or S’mores cupcake. The latter, topped with a piece of graham cracker, is a particular favorite, and has made the cupcake table an obligatory stop before I find my seat.

Saturday’s bout between The Violent Femmes and The Disco Dolls featured a new dessert that may present a challenge to the cupcake’s supremacy. Roller girl Anita Guinness baked delicious vegan pumpkin-oatmeal-raisin cookies. Just as Pearl Jammer quickly weaves through the pack before the opposing blockers even knows she is there, I found myself having finished three packs (six cookies) before I realized that, sadly, I had finished all of the cookies I had bought. Until next month’s bout, there would be no more. Yet just as I can rest assured that one month from now Miz Con SepJen will be busting heads straight into the penalty box, I also know that there will be more fine Roller Derby desserts for us all.

Thanks for giving us a feel for Derby Delicacies, Schuyler!

The famed concessions.

During intermission we also had the unique opportunity to be introduced to two incoming roller girls. Girl Fawkes took control of the emcee’s microphone and introduced Anita Guinness (who apparently makes great vegan pumpkin-oatmeal-raisin cookies) and Liberty Violence. These two roller girls had been working with CTRG for a bit and were fast approaching their first true debut on the track.

Intermission ended with Luciana Pulverotti and Miz Con SepJen tossing free t-shirts to the eager fans.

The second half saw the Femme’s C. Mya Rage up against the Doll’s Rhoda. Right from the onset, the jam favored the Femmes. Black Cherry, acting as pivot for the Femmes, promptly curved into Eleanor’s (Doll Pivot) side. Eleanor, knocked off balance, lost her spot at the front of the pack. This opened the door to an unopposed break by Rage. She sped through the pack, took lead jammer status, and managed two additional laps before losing steam. She put 15 points onto the scoreboard. Fifteen!

Jam after jam, the action didn’t stop. At one point Pam Terror came in from a stay in the penalty box and wasted no time in slamming all 4 feet 11 and a half inches of her fury into Paula G. Imnaughty, knocking Paula to her knees. Four jams later, Pam unexpectedly stole lead jamming status from the commanding Black Cherry who got trapped behind a blockade of Ether Bunny, Flora, and Lemme Atter. It amazes me that such maneuverability is possible on roller skates.

As the time ticked down, we saw one final unique moment of strategy. Jamming for the Femmes, Paula found herself on the receiving end of a strong hit. She was knocked to the ground and her roller skate fell out of place. In an uncommon move (though totally legal), Paula tossed her jammer insignia to Girl Fawkes who thus inherited the position of jammer. Although the jam ended shortly thereafter, it was an exciting moment to see an uncommon rules coming into play.

The bout concluded with the Violent Femme’s leading the Disco Dolls 111 to 50.

Statistics!
Lead Scorers

Violent Femmes
Pearl Jammer: 27 points in 8 jams. Lead jammer in 7/8 jams.
Black Cherry: 23 points in 7 jams. Lead jammer in 4/7 jams.
C. Mya Rage: 19 points in 4 jams. Lead in 2/4 jams.
Milla LowLife: 19 points in 6 jams. Lead in 4/6 jams.

Disco Dolls
Violet Riot*: 10 points in 6 jams. Lead jammer in 3/6 jams.
Ether Bunny: 9 points in 5 jams. Lead jammer in 2/5 jams.
Flora Goodthyme: 9 points in 6 jams. No lead.

*I realize I didn’t write about Violet’s unique skating style. Violet is very emotive in the way she moves around the track. She’s both aggressive and fluid. It’s always fun to see Violet take position at the jamming starting line.

penalties
Flora Goodthyme is crowned the Queen of the penalty box with 16 minors and 1 major.
Xena Paradox comes in a close second with 9 minors.

MVPs
Disco Dolls: Eleanor Bruisevelt
Violent Femmes: C. Mya Rage

Great job roller girls! Our Derby virgins left on Saturday feeling extremely satisfied in the action, thrills, and cupcakes. The new format of mix-matched teams didn’t sacrifice any of the hard hitting that we ache for. I look forward to the next show down. I’m certain that we will all return for the next bout.

If you’d like to join us at the Connecticut RollerGirls’ next event, check out their website here for times and directions!! Hope to see you there!!

On Saturday night Connecticut’s own Stepford Sabotage faced the Maine Port Authorities in an awesome Roller Derby showdown!! We had a whole bunch of derby virgins with us for this particular bout including Sasha, Vivienne, and Sarah T. It was this season’s first interleague bout hosted at the Connecticut Sports Center. Stepford Sabotage came all decked out in their menacing green uniforms with matching helmets, the Port Authorities were in white tops with dark blue booty shorts. The Port Authorities were coming in with a bit more experience, but Stepford’s lineup was back in business and the Connecticut locals came out to Woodbridge in great numbers to support the girls.

Hitman Hank and the Reverend Al Mighty were the MC’s for the night and they riled up the crowd for the introductions and to show the new spectators how the sport is played. It wasn’t long before the whistles blew and the girls were screaming around the track. Connecticut had a rough start; the first five jams were dominated by the Port Authorities. Syd Rock, Pearl Jammer, and Doomcake struggled to keep up with the Port Authorities’ Olive Spankins and Killer Quick as the two jammers pulled in 17 unanswered points for Maine.

The Pack!

Stepford fought hard to keep up. Pearl was the first to break through the intimidating wall of booty shorted blockers. She only pulled a single point against Maine’s Jones N, but even this minor victory was enough to spur our girls into action. Syd and Pam Terror came out next as jammers, scored nine points, and brought Connecticut within striking distance.

The jammers were doing a great job getting points, in spite of the impressive work of each team’s blockers and pivots. It first became apparent that the blockers were doing their jobs when Maine’s Punchy O’Guts aggressively slammed Syd Rock as she tried to pass on the outside of a turn. The hit drew grimaces from the crowd. Miz Con SepJen and Milla Low Life, among others, were doing their part in Stepford’s pack to hold off the onslaught. A critical turning point came about halfway through the first period. Black Cherry had been out on penalty as jammer, which gave Olive Spankins a key opportunity to pull in additional points for Maine. She was unsuccessful, however, and instead ended up getting a penalty of her own.

Doomcake started the next round unopposed. She had a few key minutes to try and get lead jammer status and some points before Olive Spankins would return and threaten the jam. Doomcake started strong. As she skated around the track, the crowd cheering her on, she got point after point. When Olive Spankins did finally return from penalty, Revengela made short work of her. She plowed into Olive decidedly knocking her out of play. Revengela’s key move gave Doomcake some extra time to score 9 points for Connecticut.

Doomcake’s victory was followed by a beautiful jam where Pearl Jammer stole 3 points off of lead jammer Killer Quick. Syd continued the drive with four points thanks to some aggressive blocking by Luciana Pulverotti. Connecticut had taken the lead! Unfortunately, the lead was short lived as Killer Quick and Olive Spankins returned with strong jams ending the first half 34 to 49 in favor of the Port Authorities.

During the intermission we were entertained by the Memphis Morticians, a heavy band with a sweet stand up bass and a lead singer with epic mutton chops. After their set, the girls returned to the track.

The second half started with more impressive blocking within the pack. Right from the beginning Mt. Saint Helen, Eleanor Bruisevelt, Luciana Pulverotti, and Revengela made their presence known. Despite the clear difficulty of keeping a hold on the opposing jammers, the girls were doing a good job on defense. At one point we were floored by the delicate defensive exchange between Eleanor and Luciana. Killer Quick was skating hard but Eleanor got in front of her, preventing her from sneaking ahead. Killer Quick was evasive though, and as she zipped around a turn she got a skate around Eleanor and AT THAT VERY MOMENT Luciana swept in and crushed Quick’s advance. As testimony to their determination at holding back Quick, Luce and Eleanor traded off this defense a few more times giving the Stepford Sabotage a chance to stay in the game.

Pam Terror skates as jammer for Stepford

Deep into the second half Syd was skating as jammer. As the girls zipped along the straight, a blocker blindsided Syd and took her down hard. It looked like Syd rolled her ankle - she was down for the count. The EMT’s worked their magic (despite being a little slow in making their way over to our hurt player - show some haste EMTs!**) and Syd was able to get back up within a few minutes. She stayed out for the rest of the bout, but her injury didn’t stop Connecticut from one final rally. The game would definitely be won by Maine, but that didn’t cause Doomcake to slow her attack for the final jam. With just 53 seconds left, Doom worked her way to the front of the pack and achieved lead jammer status. The crowd roared as Doom pumped her fist in the air. She got through the pack once, and then again, concluding the bout with a strong 9 point jam.

Final Score: Stepford 82, Port Authorities 120

Let’s talk Statistics!!

Lead scorers:
Stepford
33 Pearl Jammer
28 Syd Rock
19 Doomcake

Port Authorities
60 Olive Spankins
54 Killer Quick
6 Jones N

*note: Olive and Quick had such strong numbers in part because they acted as jammer in nearly every jam

Lead jammer ratios!
Stepford
Pearl 5 Leads in 12 jams
Syd 6 Leads in 13 jams
Doom 3 Leads in 8 jams

Port Authorities
Olive 9 leads in 16 jams
Quick 13 leads in 17 jams
Jones N 4 leads in 7 jams

Penalty Queens!
Stepford
Miz ConSepJen 4 minor 3 major

Port Authorities
The Mom Bomb 8 minor 2 major

MVP’s
Stepford - Girl Fawkes
Port Authorities - Breezey

Great job Roller Girls!! Sarah T, Sasha, and Vivienne instantly became derby fans at Saturday night’s bout. The rest of us were once again entertained beyond our expectations.

Join the fun on January 17th at the Connecticut Sports Center when the Widowmakers take on the Iron Angels. For more information check out the Connecticut roller girls’ website here.

UPDATE!

Schuyler, a friend who partook in the roller derby mayhem on Saturday night, sent in this little blurb about his favorite player Doomcake.

While Doomcake’s skills hardly go unnoticed in Connecticut Derby, her jams against Maine this past Saturday were a perfect showcase for why she is the most versatile player in the league. While other jammers got knocked around by the brutal tactics of the Maine Port Authority’s blockers, Doomcake took the crowd’s energy and used it to cut through the pack in seconds. When in the pack herself, she proved a formidable obstacle to Olive Spankins and Killer Quick. Each time Doom took lead jammer status, it appeared that the tide would be turning in favor of the Sabotage, and had she jammed more than she did, it might have. Few rollergirls are able to bust heads as easily as they can elegantly weave through the pack, but it’s Doomcake’s ability to do just this that has made her my favorite rollergirl since the first bout I saw. Given the cheers of “Doooooom” as she pumped her arms, rocketing around the track as lead jammer, I suspect that I’m not the only one.

Thanks Schuyler!

**Update: Ian Fluenza pointed out that the EMT’s were, in fact, eager to help out Syd but didn’t come over until they were waved over by the head ref, Jeff da Ref.

Picture above: Pearl Jammer signs an autograph for an adoring fan.

On Saturday night the crowds came in huge numbers to this year’s 2008/2009 CT Roller Girl Demolition Exhibition at the CT Sports Center in Woodbridge. The venue was new for the roller girls. The sport center’s proximity to New Haven and the I-91 corridor certainly didn’t hurt, nor did the fact that the sport center served beer. Despite the cold rain that poured outside, the crowd inside the sports center was completely enthusiastic; excited to see their favorite players after the lengthy off season.

Shortly after 7pm, Hitman Hank addressed the crowd, his black suit perfectly juxtaposed by a bright pink tie. “Are you ready for some Roller Derby!?” he shouted and the crowd cheered back. The night’s exhibition would be made up from players of all three regular season teams squished into two extreme teams: The Honor Rollers and The Jock Stars.

Our group had come with 5 roller derby virgins. They paid close attention as the players were introduced and the rules were reviewed. And then? The action got under way.

Victoria Deck’em waves her field hockey stick during the introduction of the Jock Stars

The bout began with Luciana Pulverotti of the Honor Rollers jamming against Jock Stars player Pam Terror. When the whistles blew the girls took off sprinting towards the pack. Right from the beginning we knew that this bout would not be one of jammers, so much as pivots and blockers. The formidable defensive wall of Derby girls was made even more imposing by the different floor texture of the CT sports Center which slowed the furious drives of the jammers. The Jock Stars started off strong with 4 consecutive unanswered jams. Honor Roller Revengela was the first on her team to break the streak. Normally positioned as a blocker, Revengela came out strong and took advantage of a key opportunity as the Jock Stars’ jammer was sent to the penalty box. In just a few short jams the Honor Rollers had narrowed the gap from a 12 to a 4 point difference.

While the jamming is always exciting, the first half saw some fantastic action in the depths of the pack. Victoria Deck’em, Miz Con SepJen, and Violet Riot each had pretty strategic hits on the opposing jammer. In fact, there were plenty of great blocks from many of the newer roller girls as well.

Let’s break from the action to take a look at some of the newer names that were skating Saturday night

Lemmy Atter (#695)
Eve Coli (#0157)*
Flora Goodthyme (#1-900)
Paula G. Imnaughty (#NC-17)
C. Mya Rage (#86′d)
Ramona Rotten (#77)

Lemmy and Flora will skate with the Widowmakers in the regular season, Eve, C. Mya, and Ramona will skate with the Elm City Bone Crushers, and Paula G. Imnaughty will skate with the Iron Angels.

*fun fact! The 0157 strain of ecoli is extremely dangerous as it is resistant to antibiotics. I love it when roller girls have subtle academic and scientific references within their names and numbers.

The new recruits were doing great! Eve had some fantastic blocks in the later half of the first period, Flora was consistently scoring points as jammer, and Ramona’s skating looked effortless. The new girls had enthusiasm on their side but the experience of some of the roller derby powerhouses proved nearly overwhelming.

Milla Lowlife (pivot) tries to stay out front as the pack fumbles around a turn

In the thirteenth jam of the evening Doomcake came up to the jamming line. She had jammed once earlier in the night and had barely sneaked past Ramona Rotten to steal lead jammer status and a single point for the Honor Rollers. This time, when the whistle sounded Doom kicked it into gear and pulled some extremely skillful maneuvers to weave through the wall of opponents. She circled once while the powerful Honor Rollers’ pack held opposing jammer Ramona captive. Doom knew she had an opportunity: her team was down 10 points but their defense was holding strong. She gained speed and circled once more effortlessly winding through her opponents. When her hands finally touched her hips, Doom had brought the Honor Rollers ten more points. The score was tied!!

The tide had turned for the Honor Rollers and Revengela added her own punctuation to their statement when, just three jams later, she plowed through an swath of opposing players taking down three jock straps in the action. The first half ended with the Honor Rollers having just edged past the Jock Stars: 36 to 34.

The band Kiss Kiss came out to entertain at half time. This isn’t the first time they’ve played at a CT Roller Derby intermission, though I think that this time around they did an especially good job. I’m not sure how to best classify their music, but it was pretty rocking.

A young fan roots for her mom

After the intermission, the girls took to the floor. The first five jams of the second half were brutally tight. Jam after jam came up with few points scored, though the strategy was impressive. First Eleanor Bruisevelt skated hard against Violet Riot, but only pulled a single point. Jam 2 saw Honor Roller Paula G. Imnaughty steal lead jammer status from IV Drop, a visiting roller girl from Suburbia Roller Derby–Westchester County NY (Thanks Ro - see comments). Despite the steal, IV pulled ahead and Paula smartly ended the jam. Jam 3 saw the roles reverse. This time Violet Riot with the Jock Stars stole the lead from Honor Roller Pearl Jammer and was forced to end the jam in the same manner.

And then, it happened AGAIN.

C. Mya Rage, skated hard and got lead jammer status only to see her lead erode. Like the previous two jams, C. Mya smartly ended the jam just before her opponent scored. The fifth jam of the second half put Luciana against Pam Terror. Luciana got a great start through the pack. Pam Terror was dropped early on and was virtually out of the picture. Miz Con SepJen and Victoria Deck’em loomed in front of Luciana. Luciana swerved and tried to dart in front of her imposing opponents, but Miz and Victoria were skating strongly. Luciana couldn’t get through. She struggled behind her opponents for a full lap and then - out of nowhere! - Pam Terror screamed through the pack and grabbed lead jammer status. It was a remarkable showing of defense by the Jock Star team.

As the jams added up and the time ticked down the Milla Lowlife, Doom, and Pearl continued to chip away at the Jock Stars. Flora Goodthyme had a phenomenal 10 point jam recovering some lost ground for her team, but it was answered by a second double digit jam by Doomcake.

The bout ended with some beautiful blocks by Doom and Miz. When the final horn sounded the score stood at Honor Rollers 72 and Jock Stars 51. Weird Al’s “White and Nerdy” boomed over the speakers as the Honor Rollers took their victory lap. The crowd was ecstatic.

Doomcake secured M.V.P. for the Honor Rollers, Flora Goodthyme took M.V.P. for the Jock Stars.

Let’s look at some stats!

Lead Scorers!

Honor Rollers:
Doomcake 29 points in 6 jams.
Milla Lowlife 14 points
Revengela 12 points
Eleanor Bruisevelt 10 points

Jock Stars:
Flora Goodthyme 17 points in 6 jams
Pam Terror 16 points
Violet Riot and IV Drop 8 points

Great job Roller Girls! CT is glad to have you skating again. The next bout will be on December 13th as CT’s Stepford Sabotage take on the Maine Port Authorities. Last time these two teams met Stepford fell to the fury of Maine. But the two teams are closely ranked and I know our Connecticut girls will fight hard. Come check them out at the CT Sports Center on December 13th.

As for our group? Our Roller Derby virgins were pretty captivated by the action. One unique thing about Roller Derby is that it really doesn’t take much before you find yourself cheering wildly with the rest of the crowd and wincing at the brutal hits that send skaters off spinning. I have high hopes for the new venue and hope that it helps bring more crowds to Derby. Connecticut is a more exciting state in Roller Derby season and the more people who can appreciate it, the better.

Get all the info on upcoming bouts and your favorite teams by going to the newly redesigned CT Roller Derby website.

Connecticut stormed into Holyoke, Massachusetts on Saturday to fiercely battle the Pioneer Vally Roller Derby (PVRD) teams. The Connecticut Roller Girls (CTRG) would face the Western Mass Destruction and CT’s men, the Death Quads, would face the Dirty Dozen. This particular bout was organized so that the men’s and women’s teams would alternate playing each period.

The men stepped up to the line first.

CT’s Johnny Holeshot (#30 in red&yellow) at the line against PVRD’s Dr. Spankenstein (#113v in green)
Photo by Dead End Allie

Right from the start, our Death Quads felt the heat and speed of Massachusetts’ jammers. Dr. Spankenstein, Jurasskick Park, and Davy Jones were the first three jammers for the Dirty Dozen. Their speed was absurd. Death Quads Johnny Holeshot, Cirkle Jerk, and A Boy named Rob, were doing whatever they could to keep up, but the team was still vastly overpowered by the speed and agility of the Dirty Dozen.

CT’s Jacques Strap works to try and catch up to Western Mass’s Jurasskick Park.
Photo by Dead End Allie

The Dirty Dozen were hitting hard and skating fast, and their points soared. When the buzzer blared, the men of Massachusetts had a powerful lead with a score of 47 to Connecticut’s 11.

The Roller Girls were up.

The Connecticut Roller Girls came out in new uniforms: Predominantly black outfits with purple helmets. C. Mya Rage (#86′d), Paula G. Imnaughty (#913), and Ramona Rotten (#1977) were the newest recruits skating (for the first time!) on Saturday for CTRG. As the team took their warm-up laps, the girls practiced whipping their teammates forward and putting on the pressure around the turns.

Black Cherry started the show for CTRG against Western Mass Destruction’s Nora Morse - a pairing that was repeated throughout the night.

Black Cherry and Nora Morse at the jammer starting line

Black Cherry pulled lead jammer status and started the team off with a great momentum. She was followed by Pam Terror, Violet Riot, Nelly Knuckles, Pearl Jammer, and Girl Fawkes all who helped pull Connecticut into a 10 to 2 lead half way early in the first period. Especially noteworthy was a clutch block by C. Mya Rage who barreled forward in the 5th jam to knock down a Pioneer Valley Roller Girl and clear the way for Pearl Jammer to sneak through the pack. The team was really skating well, but Western Mass Destruction wasn’t going to let this one come easy; PVRD’s Big Vinny’s Kid, Pixie Scabs, and Chickadee Struction, were fighting back - and they were fighting hard.

The match was intensely defensive. Check out this video showing just one moment of the defensive power. Brutal!

Roller Derby. CTRG vs. PRVD from mikedidonato on Vimeo.

Yes, the girls were hitting very hard Saturday night.

By the end of the first half, Western Mass Destruction had narrowed the gap in points to 4. The score stood at CTRG 20 - Mass Destruction 16.

Meanwhile… the men returned.

When we last left the Death Quads, they were struggling 36 points behind the home team in Holyoke. Sadly, the second half saw no mercy from the Pioneer Valley Team. They fought aggressively to keep the points rolling. Jurasskick Park, Davy Jones, and Dr. Spankenstein continued to wreak havoc on our CT heroes.

Dr. Spankenstein races towards Cirkle Jerk.
Photo by Dead End Allie

At one point Jurasskick Park was jamming against Cirkle Jerk. I have never seen such speed from a jammer as I did from #1993. Jurasskick Park soared around the ring weaving through the Death Quad blockers. While it was a bummer to see CT falling further behind, it was impressive to see the skating prowess of the Dirty Dozen.

As the men’s bout came to a close the score put the Dirty Dozen on top 123 to 35.

The Roller Girls’ Return

The girls came back and started right in where they had left off. But this time Western Mass Destruction’s Ballistic Miss L, Pittstop, and Nora Morse were ready. They skated hard, and despite the hits from Miz Con SepJen and Victoria Deck’em, they pulled off 10 quick points to steal the lead away from the CTRG. At this point, each team’s strategy became paramount. The teams were trading the lead back and forth. The blockers were fighting to control the front of the pack and the jammers were fighting to break through.

CT’s Pam Terror slows slightly to try and prevent MA’s Blood Bath and Beyond from hitting Black Cherry

At one point the CTRG were down nine. Girl Fawkes came up to face Pittstop as jammer. The whistle blew and the girls were off! Girl Fawkes broke through first and snagged lead jammer status. As she flew around the ring, she lapped Pittstop… but not before pulling off a sick tactical take down and knocking Pittstop to the floor. The hit gave Fawkes enough time to break through the pack again… pulling in nine points and tying the score.

There were only a few minutes left.

The girls signal one another to help make the team aware of advancing jammers.

The last few minutes were extremely intense. Unfortunately the Connecticut girls suffered a serious set back as jamming Nelly Knuckles was sent out on a penalty. This gave Western Mass Destruction a key chance to try and take the lead. They capitalized on the opportunity and grabbed a critical few points. As the time ticked down, all the while the crowd roaring with excitement, the CTRG fell behind 43 to 47.

It was a great night for roller derby. Great job to all the players!

Statistics!

Top Scoring Dudes

The Death Quads
10 - Circkle Jerk
9 — Johnny Holeshot
9 — A Boy Named Rob

The Dirty Dozen
42 - Jurasskick Park
38 - Davy Jones
27 - Dr. Spankenstein

Top Scoring Ladies

CTRG
15 - Black Cherry
11 - Girl Fawkes

Western Mass Destruction
14 - Nora Morse
12 - Kookie Kutteroff

What’s next?

I had an opportunity to chat with Pam Terror before the bout started up. Apparently the girls did really well at the East Coast Derby Extravaganza in Philadelphia last month. This particular bout was the last one for this season so they will be going on break for the duration of the summer, returning to the rink in the fall. Until then, feel free to check the CT roller girl website for additional information on upcoming events.

On Friday the thirteenth, three Connecticut roller girl teams entered the Roller Magic arena in Waterbury, each trying to exit as the sole champion. The regular season had come and gone leaving all three teams tied. The Elm City Bone Crushers, the Iron Angels, and the Widowmakers arrived to play each other in 30 minute mini bouts. At the end of the night, if a single team won both its bouts, she would go on as champion. If again, all teams tied, then the team with the greatest point differential would be deemed champion.

Let’s take a closer look at the three teams.

The Elm City Bone Crushers
ECBC, as their adoring fans refer to them, came into the 2008 season worn and beaten from their losses the previous year. But Doomcake (#13), their willful and powerful captain, wasn’t going to let history dictate this year’s success. After a heartbreaking loss to the Widowmakers early in the season, the team came together for a well-earned victory over the Iron Angels. Their roster* includes:

Doomcake (#13 captain)
Vixen Vega (#80085 asst. captain)
ChaCha LaRue (#xoxo)
Chelsea Grin (#T-4)
Ether Bunny (#ZZZ)
Jenghis Kahn (#1162)
Murderface Maully (#82)
Susan Bea Anarchy (#79)
Smith & Wendly (#357)
Syd Rock (#2)
Victoria Deck’em (#8)

The Iron Angels
The 2007 Connecticut Rollergirl reigning champions have a strong roster. Last year’s victory was testimony of the phenomenal power and leadership of the team’s captain and assistant captain: Tina Colada (#B-52) and Pearl Jammer (#GO) respectively**. The compassion and camaraderie of the Iron Angels is unparalleled. Their roster* includes:

Tina Colada (#B-52 captain)
Pearl Jammer (#GO asst. captain)
Girl Fawkes (#V)
Mount Saint Helen (#1980)
Nelly Nuckles (#2-KO)
Niki Nos Nitrous (#N20)
Pam Terror (#9)
Slaughterhouse Sadie (#70)
Violet Riot (#911)
Virginia Woolferine (#168)

The Widowmakers
These rollergirls have a passion and a professionalism that make them quite a menace in the ring. The Windowmakers have been a consistent contender in the Connecticut scene. The 2008 season began with a fantastic comeback for the Widowmakers as they pushed past the Bone Crushers in a tight 86 to 83 overtime victory. Under the power of their team’s seasoned captain Revengela (#1-2-3-4), the Widowmakers were out to try and take their first championship. Their roster* includes:

Revengela (#1-2-3-4 captain)
Black Cherry (#C-4 asst. captain)
Barbie Q (#2-3 team manager)
Eleanor Bruisevelt (#1933)
Luciana PULVERotti (#110R)
Milla Lowlife (#40)
Miz Con SepJen (#7)
Parker Poison (#As33)
Peekaboom! (#718)
Pepper Grind-Her (#10+)
Ruby Wreckingball (#TNT)
Slick Shoes (#85)

Huge crowds gathered to watch the Championship showdown.

The Championship

Bout 1

The first bout on Friday saw a competition for the ages between Elm City Bone Crushers and the Widowmakers. As the whistle blew, the girls took off in formation; the jammer’s driving forward with fiery intensity. Doomcake showed her prowess as she maneuvered through her opponents and quickly took the first lead jammer status. With it, the Bone Crushers drew first blood with a 5 point lead. Syd Rock came out next against Luciana PULVERotti. Despite Luciana’s aggressive drive, the ECBC defense kept her down and Syd Rock, with impressive maneuvering, sneaked through to win the jam. Right from the beginning, ECBC was showing some notable muscle and strategy on their skates. After ten jams, they had an impressive lead and were consistently scoring lead jamming status.

And then came the single most violent jam of the night. Syd Rock came out as the Bone Crusher jammer following a striking 5 point jam led by Chelsea Grin. Opposite her, at the starting line, was Eleanor Brusivelt, who earlier had led a successful jam under some remarkable defense work of her teammates. The whistle blew and the girls took off. As the jammers stormed around the track, they came face-to-face with a pack that held like a wall. Careening around the corner, the aggressive shoulders of the blockers dropped the jammers, and the trip up brought seven rollergirls tumbling to the ground. The girls got up and Syd promptly slammed into Milla, Ether Bunny clocked Eleanor Bruisevelt, and after getting up Eleanor bashed MurderFace Maully. More roller girls hit the floor in this one jam than in any jam I have seen to date. As testimony to the strength of these two teams amazing defensive players, at the end of this violent jam neither team had been able to successfully navigate through the pack to score any points.

The Bone Crushers were successful in their drive putting down the Widowmakers in a 50 to 17 victory.

Bout 2

After a short intermission where we were entertained by the Creepin Cadavers, the girls got right back into action. Since the Bone Crushers won the first round, they were able to relax until the third bout. This second bout put Iron Angels up against the Widowmakers. Tina Colada started at the line with Eleanor Bruisevelt. The teams were trading lead jamming status pretty consistently. Right away this looked like a bout of defense versus a bout of offense. The Widowmakers were pushing hard on Pearl Jammer, last year’s MVP, and were effectively holding her back. Parker Poison, Revengela, and Slick Shoes were in rare form consistently laying down the Iron Angels’ jammers. Angel Violet Riot seemed to be coming out a bit more as the Iron Angels tried to combat the Widowmakers’ hard-hitting defense, but to no avail. The points kept coming for the Widowmakers and they closed out with a 36 – 26 victory.

Bout 3
The Deciding Bout.

Despite losing the previous round, the Iron Angels were not out of the contest. If they could win against the Bone Crushers with a 21 point victory, they would take the championship.

The Bone Crushers, however, were truly intent on crushing their opponents. Doom, Syd, Ether, and Chelsea Grin traded the jammer position for the first eight jams over which they took every single lead jammer title. Pearl was the first to break the Bone Crushers run. Pearl, Pam, and Nelly Knuckles came up with a short rally, but were kept honest by the devastating drive of the ECBC. Jam after Jam the girls in red were pushing their points skyward. As the clock ticked the final seconds away, the Elm City Bone Crushers threw their hands in the air, they had defeated the Angels 42 to 11.

The girls gathered ringside to collect their trophy.

ECBC pose with their trophy.

Statistics!
Syd Rock and Doomcake were the highest scorings players of the evening. Syd with 47 points and Doom with 31. These women alone showed Connecticut that the Bone Crusher’s weren’t fooling around. Eleanor Bruisevelt and Luciana PULVERotti took home 18 and 11 points respectively for the Widowmakers. Pearl was the leading scorer for the Angels with 10.

Congratulations to all the Roller Girls for an amazing season and endlessly entertaining bouts! The next big event will have the travel team, the Stepford Sabotage, against a bunch of east coast teams at the EAST COAST EXTRAVAGANZA on June 21st in Philadelphia, PA and then against some of Western Massachusetts’ finest on July 12th in Holyoke, MA. For more information check out the CT Roller Girls Website.

*The rosters listed here were not the exact rosters for this particular bout.
** UPDATE: A Roller Girl kindly pointed out in the comments that last year’s Iron Angels captain and asst. captain were Nelly Knuckles and Dead End Allie. Tina Colada and Pearl are the captain and asst. captain for this season.

On Sunday night the crowds gathered once again to witness the aggressive roller derby girls in action. This bout had the Elm City BoneCrushers taking on the reigning champions, the Iron Angels. Both teams have some considerable strength to them. The Iron Angels were coming in with a 1-0 record after defeating the Widowmakers in February. The BoneCrushers were coming in vengeful and furious with a record of 0-1 after barely losing their bout with the Widowmakers in January.

Amidst the cheers of their loving crowd, the RollerGirls came onto the flat track for the first jam. Jamming for the Iron Angels was Assistant Captain Pearl Jammer (#GO), and opposing her for the BoneCrushers was captain Doomcake (#13). Striking quickly before the BoneCrushers could organize their defenses, Pearl grabbed lead jammer status and pulled in a quick 5 points. The early lead for the Iron Angels was short lived however as BoneCrusher Syd Rock (#2) came up next against Girl Fawkes (#V). Syd has a furious ability to navigate through the menacing shoulders of the opposing blockers and responded to Pearl’s grand slam with 9 points of her own. No, the BoneCrushers were not going to let the Angels’ title as champion intimidate them, they had their own agenda and it was proving aggressive and effective.

BoneCrusher Chelsea Grin (#T-4) jammed next against Angels captain Tina Colada (#B-52) and showed the strength of her shoulder in a sick take down. One after another, the BoneCrushers were coming out in force. Doomcake added 4, and Syd 5 more. Sadly, the bout’s momentum faltered when ChaCha LaRue (#XOXO) took a bad fall in an early jam.

The bond between the girls became more than apparent as Iron Angels and BoneCrushers alike tended to the fallen RollerGirl. Pearl Jammer and the EMTs helped ChaCha get to a stretcher. Despite the pain, ChaCha looked to be in good spirits as she was carted off to the ambulance. While always unfortunate, injuries do shine some light on the strong camaraderie of the CT RollerGirls.

ChaCha LaRue gets some attention

After the injury, the score stood 18 to 6. The Angels weren’t making it easy for the BoneCrushers. Fawkes pulled in 9 more points bringing the score a bit closer after a few jams. Yet still, the BoneCrusher defense was dominating. Ether Bunny (#ZZZ) had a wicked hit on Angel substitute Token (#X) and Susan B Anarchy (#79) successfully dominated Pearl late in the first half to keep Syd Rock screaming around the ring pulling in points.

The first half ended with the BoneCrushers holding a significant lead over the Angels. Would the Elm City BoneCrushers be vindicated after their last frustrating loss?

Beaver Knievel (#97) re-establishes the pack after Doomcake soars through

The second half was just as furious as the first. Girl Fawkes held the relentless Syd Rock at 11 points in the early part of the second half with a hit that knocked Syd into the air. It was clear that the girls were getting tired. With 11 minutes left the Angels were down over 20 points… but then they began to rally behind the blocking of Slaughterhouse Saide (#70) and Mount St. Helen (#1980). First Tina Colada pulled 4, then Pearl took 3, Violet Riot (#911) snagged four, Token 3, and Pearl 7 more. Could the BoneCrushers keep the advancing Angels far enough back to claim victory?

Yes! The BoneCrusher defense closed the door on the Angels through the last 5 jams securing a critical victory and bringing about a unique situation entering into the championship. Each team is now tied with a record of 1-1. While the format for the championship in not yet certain, you can be sure that it will be furious.

STATISTICS!
Top Scorer was BoneCrusher Syd rock with 44 points over 15 jams.
Next up was Iron Angel Pearl Jammer with 26 points over 13 jams.

This is especially impressive when you realize that there were only 36 jams total. These two jammers were pushed to their limits.

Chelsea Grin had the most trips to the penalty box with a grand total of 5. Susan B. Anarchy was right behind her at 4.

I talked to Syd Rock briefly after the bout. Tonight was, she believed, her top performance as a jammer. She comes from Tuscon, but did mostly blocking there. When asked which she preferred, being a blocker or jammer, Syd replied “Blocker. I like to hit people.”

Congratulations BoneCrushers!

The next stop for the RollerGirls is coming this Saturday (April 12th) in Philidelphia where the Stepford Sabotage will take on a local team the Philthy Britches. After that there will be a quick bout against Gotham’s Bteam in Brooklyn on the 19th. Finally, on May 17th the Stepford Sabotage will be taking on the Maine Roller Derby Port Authority in Maine. Get all the details at the CT Roller Girl website here.

Great job to all the players! We’ll see you in Maine!

It’s in the works! You should see it by the end of today.

The crowds turned up in great numbers on Sunday night to witness the aggressive meeting between CT’s Stepford Sabotage and the Rhode Island Riveters. The Riveters are a seasoned team with some great experience and a national ranking (14th!). Stepford, while still young and anxious for a rating, is decidedly feisty. We showed up knowing we’d be in for some great competition.

But on this Sunday the girls didn’t start the show, no, it was the men’s turn to debut. Three men’s derby teams showed up to welcome Connecticut’s first men’s derby team, the CT Death Quads, to the derby scene: The New York Shock Exchange, Western Mass’s Dirty Dozen, and Baltimore’s Harm City Homicide. The four teams mixed players into two squads for a fast and furious single period bout. It was extremely fun. The guys were brutally hitting one another, and what a mix of player skills! From Feelgood Marshall to Davy Jones the men were really throwing it all down.

Fans for a change, CT’s Stepford Sabotage (Ether Bunny, Revengela, Tina Colada, Violet Riot, and Black Cherry) watch the men do their thing.

With the crowd all riled up, the girls came out welcomed with cheers of anticipation. As they warmed up by skating a few laps, Miz ConSepJen and Luciana Pulverotti walked around selling cupcakes to support the traveling team.

MC Hitman Hank was joined by Rhode Island’s Al Mighty. They introduced the players on each team and we started right in on the action.

The first jam put CT’s Powerhouse Pearl Jammer (#GO) up against Rhode Island’s Hysterica (#42). Hysterica, speed skater turned roller girl, was fast. She whipped through the pack quickly, snagged lead jammer status, circled once, and strategically ended the jam. Black Cherry (#C-4) came up next as jammer against Craisy Dukes (#high 5). Craisy repeated the process for the Riveters. If Stepford was caught off guard, they didn’t show it. The slow start didn’t deter the girls. Syd Rock (#2) snagged the first lead jammer status for Connecticut followed by Black Cherry and Tina Colada (#B-52). Despite grabbing these leads, the girls in green were coming up short on points.

Jetta Von Diesel (#VR6) and Hysterica plan their attack

As the bout progressed it became clear that the Riveters’ defense is staggering! Jean Harlot (#1937), Burnin’ Helen (#73), and Sass E. McNasty (#8ball) were just some of the Riveters who were working to stop The Sabotage in their tracks. But as the first half came to a close Stepford seemed to strengthen… really landing their hits. Two consecutive jams in the final minutes of that first period saw Violet Riot (#911) plow into Bunnicula (#***), and Syd Rock savagely slam Jailbird Jenny (#111). Pearl and Doomcake (#13) concluded the half with critical strategic wins of lead jammer status.

Pearl, Ether Bunny, and Syd talk strategy during the intermission.

After a quick break they were back at it. The second half saw great strategy by Riveters Craisy Dukes and Rhode Kill (#90mph). Rhode Kill was especially effective at taking a broad corner and driving the opposing jammer out of the ring in that first turn. It was brutal, but effective. Cleo Patronize (#10) had amazing stride and raised her team’s score even further. As the time ticked away CT had one final surge pulling in 23 points to the Riveters 12 in the last 8 jams.

It wasn’t quite enough. The Riveters secured a strong victory 107-47.

Craisy Dukes and Rhode Kill on their victory lap

“It’s a hell of a start,” Girl Fawkes (#V) commented. And indeed it was. Stepford is working to get a rating in the national association, but to do so they have to play two ranked teams. Hopefully they will get a rating by the summer. Both teams skated their hearts out on Sunday. Great job Roller Girls!

Statistics!
Point Leaders:
Stepford Sabotage
Black Cherry: 17
Pearl Jammer: 9

The R.I. Riveters
Hysterica! 36
Cleo Patronize: 18

Trips to the penalty box were, more or less, evenly distributed between the teams. Pearl with 3, Cleo with 4.

Both teams have bouts fast approaching. The Riveters will be up in Maine on April 12th, and Connecticut will see a battle between the Elm City Bone Crushers and the Iron Angels on April 6th. The Stepford Sabotage will be back on the road in Philly on April 12th and against Gotham’s B-team on April 19th. It’s a hectic schedule so for all the details check out ctrollerderby.com.

What a bout! On Sunday February 24th the Widowmakers and Iron Angels donned their skates in an epic match-up that we were all expecting to be extremely exciting. The girls did not disappoint.

The night started with the Iron Angels skating off their bench to the wailing riffs of AC/DC’s Thunderstruck. Led by captain Tina Colada (#B-52), the Angels were starting their season off after clinching the win at last year’s championship bout against the Widowmakers. And now the Widowmakers were back. After the Angels introduction concluded, the Widowmakers screamed off their bench to Billy Idol’s White Wedding… they were skating with a vengeance. Unlike last December, this time the Widowmakers had come with Luciana PULVERotti (#110R) and Milla LowLife (#40 oz. “The Champaign of Roller Girls”).

The Angels, however, aren’t a team to be caught unawares; they too had new players in their ranks. Mount Saint Helen (#1980), Beaver Knievel (#97), and Virginia Woolferine (#168) had joined the team and were ready for action. Yes, the crowd was expecting excitement but nothing could prepare us for the two 30 minute periods that followed.

It Begins…

The bout started with Angel Pearl Jammer (#GO) up against Eleanor Bruisevelt (#1933). The ref’s whistle screeched once and the pack was off… it screeched again and the jammers took off. Using their skate’s toe-break as a pushing point, the Jammers propelled themselves forward on their toes accelerating quickly to overtake the looming pack.

Right from the start, the match-up showed promise. The blockers were defiant. Pearl, who has the incredible skill of finding openings between even the most vicious opponents was held back by the Widowmaker defense. Eleanor broke through first and snagged lead jammer status. But Pearl is not one to give up easily. She wove through the pack behind Eleanor. The two derby girls met stiff resistance as they circled around to reach the pack again. Pearl snaked through quickly and snagged two quick points before Eleanor could end the jam. Yes, it was clear from the first jam that the bout would depend heavily on the defensive strategies of each team.

The Widowmakers drive was ferocious. After Eleanor’s efforts Luciana, Black Cherry (#C-4), and Milla consecutively took lead jammer status away from the fighting Angels. What was remarkable is that despite the Widowmaker’s early dominance at breaking through the pack, Pearl, Pam Terror (#9), and Girl Fawkes (#V) were able to slowly chip away at the score. One point here, two points there. After six jams the score stood tied at 9-9.

And Then Began a Remarkable Defensive Struggle.

Revengela (#1-2-3-4), the authoritative Captain of the Widowmakers, took the jamming spot across Pam Terror. The whistle blew and the two jammers raced up towards a very formidable pack. Miz Con SepJen (#7), Parker Poison (#A33), Pearl, and Mount Saint Helen were among those who were intent on cutting short their competitor’s drive. One jam… two jams… three jams… four jams went by scoreless. The Widowmakers were making a break for points, but the Angels kept cutting them off by strategically ending the jams. Acting as pivot Black Cherry, perhaps the single most charismatic roller girl to grace a derby ring, successfully crushed the Angel’s jammer again and again… all the while blowing kisses to the adoring crowd. The Widowmakers were making big hits.

But the tide had turned. The Angels started taking the critical lead jammer status away from the Widowmakers. Violet Riot (#911) made a huge contribution as she earned 7 crucial points for the Iron Angels. Girl Fawkes came out next and, backed up by Mount Saint Helen’s aggressive drop of Widowmaker Milla LowLife, widened the gap with 2 points and then 8 more points for the Angels. Tina Colada and Milla LowLife skated opposite each other to end the first half with a score of 34 to 19. The Iron Angels had taken a healthy lead.

The 2nd Half

The second half saw some incredible strategy. Occasionally a blocker would reach back and grab the hand of her jamming teammate. She would then swing her arm furiously around her body and whip her team’s jammer forward. The jammer could take this sudden burst of speed and work to pull ahead or make up lost ground. Lord those girls can skate.

Black Cherry used another unique strategy when she skated as jammer. Numerous times she would find herself blocked by one or two defensive Angels. Motioning back to her blocking teammates she would encourage them to slow down… thus pulling the pack away from the her and the wall that prevented her escape.

What could this possibly do? Well, there’s a rule in Roller Derby that says that the pack must remain reasonably tight. Roller girls can’t stray too far away before the refs raise their hands and the girls have to stop blocking any opposing jammers. In pushing the pack back, Black Cherry could get the ref to call out the loose pack. The Iron Angel blockers would then have to let Black Cherry skate through unopposed scoring an extra point or two.

The angels were using strategy as well. As time ticked away Violet Riot skated twice as jammer against Black Cherry. Both times she barely squeezed lead jammer status away from the fearsome Widowmaker. As the pair raced back towards the pack, Violet theatrically tapped her hips ending the jam with a 0 -0 score and pushing the clock further and further down.

When the final buzzer sounded the Iron Angels took the victory: 60 to 48.

Statistics!
Black Cherry: 27 points in 9 jams (lead 4)
Tina Colada: 22 points in 11 jams (lead 4)
Girl Fawkes: 16 points in 4 jams (lead 3)

Trips to the Penalty Box?
Widowmakers: 24
Iron Angels: 11

Players with the most trips to the penalty box:
Miz Con SepJen: 6
Tina Colada: 4

After the match we headed over to the afterparty at The Brass House. There Keller and I had some beverages and witnessed the ceremonial inauguration of two new roller girls. They were handed birth certificates with their roller girl nicknames. Cake was served and the bar welcomed the two new recruits.

The CT roller girls will put these new girls to work. Especially since next month will see the CT All-Star team, the Stepford Sabotage, up against the Rhode Island Riveters. Rhode Island’s team is older and more experienced with brutal players like ‘Da Silva Bullet’ and ‘Jetta Von Diesel’. The Stepford Sabotage will have their work cut out for them on March 16th, but the fans have faith! For more information on the upcoming bout, check out the CT roller girl’s website here:

CT Roller Derby

Sunday’s bout was amazing. Great job Roller Girls! We’ll see you March 16th!!

Last night the RollerMagic Roller Rink in Waterbury hosted the first bout in this second season of Connecticut Roller Derby. The night had the Elm City Bone Crushers (ECBC) up against the Widowmakers. When these teams met last season the Widowmakers came home with the victory, but last night there were new players wearing skates and both teams were anxious to start the season off with a win.

I brought a bunch of first-timers with me to this particular bout. The sport was introduced to the new comers with a demonstration, narrated by the MC’s. As Hitman Hank and David Coppafeel explained the means by which the jammers score points, my friend Celina shuddered in awe: “Oh my God. They have to go THROUGH THE PACK?!?”

Yes, the Pack was formidable last night. The only thing more intimidating than the pack of six blockers and two pivots was the EMT’s stretcher which ominously stood at the ready just outside the roller rink. Adding to the excitement was a new rule; instead of the three 20 minute periods that we witnessed last year, this year’s bout would be made up of two 30 minute periods. I can only imagine what those last 10 minutes must feel like when you’re wearing skates and dodging the menacing shoulder of an opponent.

The Bout Begins

The bout started with ECBC’s captain Doomcake (#13) up against Eleanor Bruisevelt (#1933). Right from the onset the ECBC showed great defense. They kept the Widowmakers at arms length with an early lead and great consistency. As the evening progressed it was clear that a few new players were playing major roles in the action. Syd Rock (#2 Bells) jammed seven times for the Bone Crushers and she was Fast. Apparently Syd recently moved to CT from Arizona where she skated with The Copper Queens, a derby team out of Tucson AZ.*

Also new were Milla Low Life (#40oz), and Luciana PULVERotti (#110R) for the Widowmakers and Murderface Maully (#M82) and Smith & Wendy (#357) for the Bone Crushers. The first half saw some killer hits from these girls. In fact, in those first 30 minutes there were 38 personal fouls. Thirty Eight! There were Elbows being thrown everywhere.

What was especially fun to watch in this bout was the strategy. There was some extremely good skating by the defense. In one of the final jams of the first half Bone Crusher Chelsea Grin (#T-4) was skating opposite Eleanor Bruisevelt. Eleanor broke through the pack early on, but didn’t take lead jammer status. The widowmaker’s defense was keeping Chelsea back. As Eleanor gained on her rivals Chelsea furiously darted forward… getting to the front of the line just in time. The ref declared her Lead Jammer and she manically tapped her hips ending the jam. Both teams were left scoreless for the jam and the Bone Crushers maintained their lead.

Intermission

As the girls caught their breath, the crowd was entertained with some SICK dancing by the CT based group ‘Poetry in Motion.’ There were 5 guys who came out and Flared, popped, and freestyled to the cheers of the CTRG crowd. The Roller Derby intermissions are typically pretty good, but this one stood out as one of the best. The fifteen minutes flew by and before we knew it the girls were back on the track and the refs were blowing the starting whistle.

The Second Half

That first Jam put Syd Rock against Revengela (#1-2-3-4). Syd got a killer start but was NAILED by Widowmaker Peekaboom (#718). The bout was close. Really close. At the start of the eighth Jam the score stood 64 points for the Bone Crushers, 63 points for the Widowmakers. We were getting anxious. Half our crowd was rooting for the ECBC the other half for the Widowmakers. The Widowmaker fans got a jolt of energy in the ninth jam when Bone Crusher Syd Rock was slammed so hard she skidded 10 feet across the floor into the penalty bench. The hits were getting harder.

Time was ticking down. And the defense was getting tough. in those last few minutes few seconds would pass without an aggressive exchange of shoulders in the ring. ECBC Susan B. Anarchy took down Milla Low Life in one particularly memorable slam.

It was ECBC 75 to WM 71.

And there was time for one Jam left. The Bone Crusher fans amongst us started chanting “DEFENSE!” the Widowmaker fans were screaming for Widowmaker jammer Black Cherry (#C-4).

The Jam started. And the crowd was electrified… and the bone crushers had a lot of team members in the penalty box. Black Cherry broke ahead in the sprint from the starting line. She skated hard and forced her way to the front of the pack!! Lead Jammer status was called. She whipped around again and broke through the pack AGAIN. Upon doing so, she immediately ended the jam.

She’d pulled in 4 points! The time expired! It was 75 to 75!!

OVERTIME!!!

I’ve never seen an overtime before, so I was quite thankful when the MC’s explained what happens in OT.

Overtime in Derby is accomplished by a two minute jam. What makes it different from regular play is that the jammers immediately start getting points and it’s impossible to get lead jammer status. If the results of that jam were another tie… they do another jam. It will keep going like that until one team pulls ahead of the other.

And now, after a full game of being behind the Elm City Bone Crusher’s the Widowmakers had a chance to take it all. Black Cherry was up against Chelsea Grin… The whistles blew.

In just seconds Chelsea Grin was sent to the penalty box. Was it over for the Bone Crushers?!?! Black Cherry was flying around the rink like it was child’s play. Just when we’d thought the game was over, Chelsea stormed back into the ring. We were on our feet with excitement.

Chelsea skated around once… twice… and the bell sounded. Would it be enough?

There was a lull that seemed to last a lifetime. The refs wanted to make certain they got the points right.

the first score announced was the Bone Crushers. 8 points! Chelsea did great!

another lull as the scores were calculated… and the results!

Black Cherry got 11 points! THE WIDOWMAKERS WON IN OVERTIME!

What a bout! It was a joy to watch. The end statistics show how closely these two teams were matched:

***UPDATE! Chelsea Grin informed me that in fact the scorekeepers made a mistake with the numbers and, in fact, Chelsea scored 35 points!!! (35 is a lot.) Rock on Chelsea!***

There were a grand total of 59 personal foul penalties given out in the bout. FIFTY NINE! That’s practically one a minute!

What a show. Great job to all the players and people behind the scenes. From the fans, thanks.

If you’d like to come to the next bout, check out the next bout on February 24th. For more information go here! There are also a handful of inter-league bouts this year. Check back on the roller girl website or here for updates!

* Tucson is actually one of the oldest leagues in the US. The Texas Rollergirls (in Austin) were first.

What a way to end the year! On Sunday, Connecticut’s Roller Girls debuted their all-star team ‘The Stepford Sabotage’ and crushed the visiting Long Island Roller Rebels in a spectacular show of speed and strategy. ‘Season’s Beatings’ was a monumental event, not only in its excitement but also in its significance. This battle for the ages was the first inter-league game hosted by Connecticut’s roller derby league, and it was an awesome sight to see. A frost in the air set the mood as crowds braved ice and winter storm warnings in order to come and cheer on their favorites. The two teams may have started friendly off the track but it seems skates can quickly turn women violent.

The bout launched into action with CT’s Pearl Jammer up against Long Island’s C-Roll. Pearl, the leading scorer for CT, started it off right pulling in a quick four points for the girls in green. Sabotage’s Pam Terror, a whirlwind of dynamite, followed suit against Summer Slam. The Stepford Sabotage, with her early lead, seemed poised for victory from the onset. But C-Roll fought back and showed the locals that these Roller Rebels would not go down easy. The third jam saw C-Roll pull 10 points against 0 for the Stepford Sabotage. It was this jam that gave CT a personal introduction to Long Island’s Captain Morgan. The only thing more menacing than her ability to keep the Sabotage at bay is her evil eye… which, rumor has it, can bring the toughest rollergirl shaking to her knees.

The CT roller girls rotated Doomcake into the jamming spot followed by Tina Colada. In the same way that cake and frozen drinks send you into a wild sugar high, Doomcake and Tina Colada left the audience in a dizzy coma; their sweet moves came at a good time: CT wasn’t risking wearing out there jammers. Instead the team threw skater after skater into the mix. The Roller Rebels with only 11 players (one of which, Trixie Timebomb, was hurt early on) were getting worn down. By the end of the first period the Stepford Sabotage had a commanding lead of 39 to 17.

Peekaboom!’s Skate. Up close and personal.

The second period roared with remarkable strategy and defense. The blockers barricaded their opponents with relentless energy and power. Eleanor Bruisevelt, Peekaboom!, and Miz Con SepJen were doing wonders at keeping Long Island Jammers C-Roll, Regine Bull, and Amaretto Sourpuss back. At the same time, Captain Morgan and Anna Tramp were holding back the CT Jammers with smooth skill and prowess. Jam after Jam came up scoreless. When the Jammers did break free of the pack they did so neck and neck, an invigorating derby ensued and all eyes were on the Jammers.

The period ended on a down note as Black Cherry took a bad spill. She clawed her way off the track in heavy pain where she waited grimacing until the EMT’s could come to her aid. Once Cherry left the track the Roller Rebels showed no mercy as Captain Morgan improved her reputation for brutality with a fantastic knock down of jammer Tina Colada.

Stepford’s Mascot, Dead End Cupcake (with butcher knife), anxiously watches the bout beside M.C. Hitman Hank

The final period saw even point scoring by both teams until the 6th jam of the period. Pearl Jammer took her place at her starting line next to Ragine Bull. The whistle chirped once, and the pack was off… it chirped again and the two jammers took to an all out sprint. The Stepford Sabotage had Parker Poison, Peekaboom!, Violet Riot, and Elenor Bruisevelt up front. As Pearl approached, her teammates opened the path for her and then immediately locked Regina Bull down. She was stuck behind the girls in green. Meanwhile Pearl skated viciously around the pink clad Roller Rebels, not once… not twice… but three times. Only once before in CT roller derby history has a roller girl succeeded in a triple grand slam against her rival. This 15 to nothing jam put the Stepford Sabotage up 91 to 43 with only minutes remaining. The girls cheered at their success, but the action was far from over.

Doomcake and Black Cherry skating to victory

Not three jams later, a series of penalties left Stepford in a dangerous situation. Pearl Jammer was up again, but her only defensewoman was Revengela. Long Island’s Summer Slam had an opportunity to take back points. Despite being the the only lonely green shirt in a sea of pink, Revengela was not intimidated. If anything, her bloodlust was only amplified. Summer Slam began her trip around the track. Revengela started hard and did an admirable job at keeping Slam back and getting Pearl through. Slam only got around once before the penalties expired and the Stepford Girls stormed the track again.

The last jam saw C-Roll in her prime. C-Roll had been pushed to her limit with an ABSURD 19 Jams under her belt. Despite this, she still pulled in 10 more points for her team in the final jam. The refs watched carefully. As Miz Con Sepjen slammed into yet another unexpecting Roller Rebel, a ref called her out on Tripping. Miz Con SepJen’s eyes glowed with Fury and she exploded back at the ref. She brazenly refused to leave the track. The ref, fed up, threw his hand in the air and ejected her from the game. Complete insubordination is not taken lightly. As Miz left the track she raised her hands to the crowds and encouraged them to cheer for her teammates still in the battle. The crowd exploded in cheers. It was an extremely entertaining display of defiance. The refs were fools to mess with Miz. Her crowd appeal is said to rival that of Bono.

When the buzzer sounded the final score stood at 106 to 61. Pearl brought home a grand total of 45 points. C-Roll stood in for the most jams, Ragine Bull snagged the most penalties (14).

Next up for the Roller Rebels is some relaxation. Their season has ended. The CT Roller Girls will be back at it on January 27th as their season starts with a show down between the Elm City Bone Crushers and the Widowmakers. To get more information check out CTRolleryDerby.com

Sunday night I witnessed some of the most entertaining Roller Derby I’ve ever seen: the 2007 CT Roller Girls Championship. The Iron Angels met the Widowmakers for one final showdown. Hundreds of fans came to show their support and the ring was overflowing with excitement - the Iron Angles had come back from a 0-2 season start, the Widowmakers had endured consistent success throughout the season. This would be one for the history books.

The girls came out sporting new uniforms: The Iron angels in short gray military skirts, the Widowmakers in short black and purple skirts - fishnets optional.

The bout started in the typical fashion: introductions, intense rock music, and a derby how to. Once the formalities were out of the way, the girls got down to business.

Iron Angel Pearl Jammer and Widowmaker Black Cherry started the bout. Both teams were putting their best out front. Pearl was followed by Pam Terror… Black Cherry by Slick Shoes. The Angels took an early, dominating lead. Despite this, Black Cherry continued to inspire awe with her ability to drop her shoulder and lurch into her opponents. Some say her shoulder is extremely sharp, and judging by the force with which the Iron Angels were hitting the floor, I would believe them.

The Widowmakers fell into a bit of trouble at the end of the first period - widowmakers were getting hurt. Black Cherry took a fall - she winced getting up - but she still continued skating for the rest of the jam. When the whistle blew she noticeably slowed and collapsed in front of her team’s bench. Her ankle was shot. She would need some rest time before coming back out to Jam.

Roller Girls wait for the jam to Start

The second period started much like the first with Pearl, Pam Terror, and Dead End Allie dominating the jams. The Widowmakers sent in Miz Con SepJen to pull in points for their team. At one point as Miz flew around the ring she slammed into an Iron Angel and went careening out of the ring and straight into a referee. The ref, Johnny Arson, was thrown backwards over the penalty bench where he buckled into a heap on the floor. The crowd exploded in cheers.

The score after the second period.

The Widowmakers were trailing heavily… but something changed in the third period. Suddenly the mood was a bit more vicious and more playful at the same time. Widowmaker Peekaboom was aggressive like I’ve never seen. Girls were getting smashed out of the ring left and right. At one point the fans pulled back in fear as lead jammer Pyroclastic Pistol was clobbered by the rejuvenated Black Cherry and rolled violently out of the ring into the crowd… all the while tapping her hips repeatedly to strategically end the jam.

Band KissKiss performs at the Intermission. Note the sweet Les Paul guitar.

The Widowmakers continued to struggle against the Angels. The girls in black and purple were working a few new strategies mainly… hold back Angel Pearl Jammer. Pearl was cleaning up. She’d averaged about 35 points or so per game for the season, and Sunday night was no different. Two thirds of the way through the third period Widowmaker Miz Con SepJen got in front of Pearl and skated with a wide stance, swerving slightly, keeping Pearl at bay. After some success she even began to taunt Pearl, shaking her booty mockingly in Pearl’s face. The crowd cheered.

But Pearl proved patient. She waited, and waited, and in a manner that us mortals will never understand, Pearl was suddenly in a full sprint! She snaked through her opponents as if it were child’s play. Pearl can skate. That’s for certain.

When the final buzzer rang the Iron Angels had 110 points to the Widowmaker’s 46.

The Iron Angels Won! The Iron Angels are the 2007 CT Roller Derby Champions!!

(photo by Slim Fast/Megan Moss Freeman)

As the team gathered for their photos with the Roller Cup (and the CT roller girl cheerleaders shown in front), the MC’s asked who would be the MVP. All at once the girls started chanting “PEARL PEARL PEARL PEARL!”

The cup was passed to Pearl Jammer who raised it high above her head. The applause from the crowd was deafening.
It was a powerful moment of Derby.

The Iron Angels did indeed dominate. Pearl, Dead End Allie, and Pam Terror were the top scoring jammers with 35, 24, and 20 points respectively. Pearl’s dominance was further evident in that she pulled off lead jammer status in 11 of the 15 bouts in which she jammed (amazing!). Miz Con SepJen and Black Cherry were the high scorers for the Widowmakers and Peekaboom won the ‘most aggressive’ award with an amazing 8 trips to the penalty box. EIGHT!

Yes, Sunday night was some of the best Derby I’ve witnessed. But the end of the season doesn’t mean the end of the entertainment. On December 9th the Long Island Roller Rebels will be coming to CT to feel the wrath of the CT Roller Girls Stepford Sabotage.

Let me know if you’d like to come! It’s going to be amazing.

On Sunday Sept 9th, Roller Magic hosted the CT Roller Girls in Waterbury for yet another battle of furious speed and mayhem. The Iron Angels were up against the Elm City Bone Crushers - a highly anticipated rematch. The Angels were coming in with a bitter taste in their mouths after having been defeated by the Elm City Bone Crushers at their last meeting. This was sure to be another good bout.

I arrived at about 6:15 with my friends Nicole and Shaun. They were both Roller Derby virgins. Nicole was rooting for the Iron Angels. Shaun, swayed by player ChaCha LaRue’s devilishly attractive Derby photo, was rooting for the Bone Crushers. As we anxiously awaited the start of the match, a handful of little kids danced in excitement.

Little Kids Dancing - Excited for Roller Derby! from mikedidonato on Vimeo.

The action started with the piercing riffs and fist pounding bass drum of AC/DC’s ‘Thunderstruck’. We did everything we could to hold back from chanting “THUNDER” as the Iron Angels stormed out for their introductions.

The Elm City Bone Crushers (ECBC) came out next, equipped with bats, chains, severed arms, and skulls pierced with spears. Van Halen’s ‘Hot For Teacher’ boomed from the amps. It was freakin’ Awesome.

After a demonstration explaining the rules (the Bone crushers had to put down their bats; weapons are not allowed) the Derby girls got out on the starting line. The first few jams went back and forth with each team strategically ending the jams after looping through the pack once, thus securing a quick four points.

The Iron Angels took an early lead - their pack was producing holes in the ECBC defense, and the jammers were taking full advantage!

In the fifth jam Dead End Allie took up the Angel’s Jamming position next to the ECBC’s ChaCha LaRue. The Jam started and the girls took off. Dead End Allie pulled some sweeet moves and achieved the first Grand Slam of the evening.

Grand Slam: When a Jammer successfully passes the entire opposing team and then proceeds to loop around and also pass the opposing jammer for a total of 5 points.

The Angels were taking their revenge out on the Bone Crushers and it was getting violent.

Let’s take a step back from the action and look at how all this Derby goes down.

There are about 10 girls on each Roller Derby Team. Five of whom are out on the ring at any one time. Each team has a captain and an assistant captain. Outside of the players themselves, there’s a horde of referees, officials, EMT’s, and volunteer support staff who help out with keeping statistics and running the show. There are typically a few MC’s, a DJ, and a memorabilia shop that sells all sorts of hip roller girl paraphernalia. It’s a pretty huge operation.

*picture from Ct Roller Derby site

I had a chance to talk to referee Ian Fluenza and ask a few questions. As the Roller Girls skate furiously around the ring the refs have to keep track of points, penalties, and point out the lead jammer to the eager crowd (the lead jammer is the jammer who gets through the pack first and as a result has control over the length of the jam). My obvious question was: do the refs get dizzy? Strangely enough, I guess they don’t. But Ian Fluenza did comment on how it can be tricky counting points as the Jammer’s weave in and out of the pack.

Out on the ring the 4 girls in the pack play both the roll of defense and offense. They do their best to help their team’s jammer through and keep back the opposing jammer. This match had among others: Susan Bea Anarchy, Vixen Vega, Victoria Deck’em, and Jenghis Kahn for the ECBCs and Nelly Nuckles, Niki Nitrous, and Slaughterhouse Sadie for the Iron Angels. There’s a lot of rotation of positions with Derby Girls moving in and out of the jamming position and the pack.

At the first intermission the Angels were winning by over thirty points.

Despite the slow start, Captain Damanda Beatin’ and her Bone Crushers weren’t letting up. In the midst of the second round the Bone Crushers seemed to get a sudden boost of energy. Chelsea Grin took a 12 point round followed immediately by a Grand Slam by Ether Bunny. But Iron Angels Pearl Jammer, the leagues highest scoring Derby Girl, and Tina Colada kept fighting back.

By the end of the second period the gap between the teams had widened and the angels had passed the 100 point mark.

The Action continued into the last period. Despite the score gap the Bone Crushers pushed on. When Judy Scarland grabbed lead jammer status during a jam in the third period and swung her fist in the air the cheers from the crowd were deafening. Still the Iron Angel’s were rolling with incredible momentum. Their jammers kept pulling in points.

At numerous times during the bout our mouths fell open in awe at the insane maneuvers being pulled off. Nicole turned to me in the third period, stunned, and commented:

“that jammer just grabbed the hips of her teammate to whip herself forward!”

The determination and drive of the girls was very noticeable. I can only imagine how exhausting it is to skate sprint around aggressive opponents for a 20 minute period.

As the clock ticked down those final seconds the official scoreboard settled on the final tally: 143 to 72. The Iron Angels took a victory lap around the ring to the hollering cheers of their fans.

Pam Terror celebrates the win.

Sadly, I got word from Ian Fluenza that Bone Crushers Demanda Beatin’ and Chelsea Grin both were injured in the bout. Chelsea with a nasty shoulder separation that’ll keep her off her skates for a bit. From all of us here at MikeDiDonato.com we wish you a speedy full recovery.

The next bout will be the Bone Crusher’s vs. the Widowmakers on October 14th! Check out the CT Roller Girl website for more info!!

On Sunday, the crowds gathered once again at the Waterbury RollerMagic rink for a taste of Roller Derby. The Iron Angels (0-2) would be taking on the Widowmakers (2-0) in a bout that truly lived up to its hype.

I had been looking forward to this one for awhile. The Angels were coming back from a bout break and the Widowmakers were returning from a brutal slaying of the Elm City Bone Crushers back in June. The last time these two teams met the Widowmakers took the victory. Could they repeat the win?

After a quick and always entertaining demo explaining the sport, the whistles blared and the girls got skating.

Iron Angels Pearl Jammer, Tina Colada, and Pam Terror started the bout switching off as Jammers. Their speed was devastating! Within the first 4 minutes the Iron angels had pulled off numerous 4 and 5 point rounds. But the Widowmaker Jammers Barbie Q and Pepper Grind-Her were answering each point run with one of their own.

It wasn’t long before the action dropped its first skater. The Angel’s assistant captain Dead End Allie took a violent spill on the near side of the ring. After struggling for a moment she tried to get up but her ankle buckled and she fell back to the ground. Even as the EMT’s ran across the ring to assist her, Dead End Allie, showing unmatched dedication, tried unsuccessfully to get up yet again, wincing in pain all the while.

She left the ring on crutches.

The Widowmaker defense wasn’t fooling around. Revengela, Ruby Wreckingball, and Slick Shoes were hitting hard.

And then there’s Black Cherry.

Perhaps she is the most feared by Iron Angel Fans. There were a number of rounds where Black Cherry, as pivot, skated furiously in front matching her speed to that of the oncoming jammer… then she’d unexpectedly drop her shoulder and swing violently into her opponent. On more than one occasion she sent the Angel’s jammer careening out of the ring a good 10 or 15 feet… the crowd (including her mom in this sweet t-shirt) rewarded her with deafening cheers.

The match remained close through the second period and into the third. Soon, there were ten minutes left and the Widowmakers trailed by 9 points. A lead for the Angels to be sure, but hardly a comfortable one. The Widowmakers suffered a short setback when Eleanor Bruisevelt fell after getting a roller skate in her back… though she didn’t stay down for long. After two or three rounds of rest she was right back out there beating back Iron Angels.

As time ticked away the roller girls began to get a bit more vicious. Check out this video of Widowmakers and Angels exchanging blows:

CT Roller Girls get Brutal from mikedidonato and Vimeo.

Soon, there were only 45 seconds left on the clock. The Widowmakers were trailing by 15 points… and Pepper Grind-Her was sent out as the Widowmaker Jammer. The bout got started and she got in front… Angel defense was doing everything in their power to keep her back… but she slipped through.. again and again.

The points started racking up… and up… and up… All eyes were on the clock as it ticked the final seconds away.

The final count? Pepper Grind-Her brought in 10 points for the Widowmakers… An extremely impressive run but just shy of what was needed. Final score?

Widowmakers 75, Iron Angels 80.

The Iron Angels Won!

Queen’s WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS exploded from the speakers, the crowd erupted in cheers, and the Iron Angels piled in a heap of skates and skirts celebrating victory.

While I may still be an inexperienced Roller Derby fan, I think it’s safe to say that Sunday’s skating was the best I’ve seen. To witness Violet Riot pull slick maneuvers to escape a crushing blow from the likes of Miz Con SepJen and to see Black Cherry’s intensity first hand… it’s exhilarating and like no other sport out there.

The next match is Sunday Sept 9th, it’s going to be the Elm City Bonecrushers vs. the Iron Angels: A rematch that will surely rival Sunday’s bout in bruises. Check out the Roller Girl website for more info.

http://ctrollerderby.com/

A few more pictures:

Roller Girls in Training

Ref Major N.Fraction
(500 bonus points for Pi approximation!!)

Roller Derby is THIS sunday at 6:30pm!!!

Fire me an e-mail for more info:

mikedidonato AT gmail D0T com

At the Roller Derby bout on Sunday we got an opportunity to chat with Ivanna B. Choo during one of the intermissions. She mentioned that Roller Girls come up with their own names. Not only that… there’s a database of names and once a name is chosen by one roller girl, it is off limits to all other roller girls.

And the database… is huge.

I challenge the readers of MikeDiDonato.com … can you come up with sweet unique Roller Girl names?