You are in "".

On Friday night I had the pleasure of attending Connecticut’s roller derby double header. Expectations were high. Connecticut’s travel team, the Stepford Sabotage, took on Westchester County’s Suburban Brawl in the first half, while Austin’s Texecutioners traveled 1,800 miles to put NY city’s own Gotham Girls to the test.

For a recap of the Connecticut bout, please go here!

The Sabotage vs Suburbia bout set the stage for what was sure to be one of the most exciting roller derby showdowns in recent New England history. The Gotham Girls, rated number one nationally, had driven up from New York to meet up with Austin’s own Texecutioners who are rated number one in the south central region and number four nationally. As the women took their warm up laps it quickly became apparent that yes, this would be one very impressive showing of skill on skates.

Gotham:

Ana Bollocks
Barbara Ambush
Bonnie Thunders
Brigitte Barhot
Donna Matrix
Fisti Cuffs
Ginger Snap
Hyper Lynx
Kandy Kakes
Pepierschnitt
Polly Gone
Surly Temple
Suzy Hotrod
Sweet Sherry Pie

The Texecutioners:

Belle Starr
Bloody Mary
Bullet Tooth Tracy
Crackerjack
Curvette
Desi Cration
Friction VixXxen
Lucille Brawl
Molotov M. Pale
Olivia Shootin’ John
Rice Rocket
Shank
Vicious Van Gogo
Kat A. Killzem

The Gotham Girls were dressed in an imposing black - a perfect contrast to the stark white uniforms of the Texecutioners. New referees took their place in the center of the track as the girls rolled to the starting line. The bout started with Bloody Mary of the Texecutioners opposing Bonnie Thunders of the Gotham Girls. Bonnie was easily identified on the track by the bright yellow lightning bolt which extended down her thigh.

Right from the beginning the Texecutioners got hit with a penalty. What would become a frequent frustration for the southerners, the jammer was sent to sit down for one minute. With the full Gotham fury focused on offense, the Texecutioners had little success in holding back Bonnie Thunders. She took in ten quick points for her team.

The second jam started and Bloody Mary charged back in from the penalty box. She quickly got ahead of the pack but, due to another foul, didn’t get lead jammer status. It didn’t stop her though. This time Bloody Mary got help from Rice Rocket and the others in the Texas pack who held back Gotham jammer Suzy Hotrod. Nine points into the jam, Bloody Mary was still going strong but Suzy finally broke through the line and ended the jam.

This bout was just getting started.

The next three jams went to the Texecutioners. Lucille Brawl, Olivia Shootin’ John, and Bloody Mary kept whittling away at the scoreboard. But the Gotham girls were always right behind to limit scoring potential. The energy of the teams and staff was especially apparent as Texecutioner Assistant Coach, Coach Koolaid, shouted from the sidelines, motivating and directing the team to perform. The teams were keeping close. After a short run of lead jammer status for the Texecutioners, the Gotham girls came back equally as strong. Bonnie Thunders was almost overpowering. She pulled another 10 points in the 13th giving a six point lead to her team. Bloody Mary returned with patient consistency and took in five points. The minutes drew to seconds in the first half when, once again, Texas made a few too many fouls. Texas girls were sent to the penalty box and what was moments earlier a 1 point game became a 16 point game when Suzy Hotrod lapped her opposing blockers three times for 15 points. The crowd, which was, as expected, full of more NY fans than TX fans, exploded into cheers. The first half ended with the New York Gotham girls ahead 43 to 27.

This particular bout was broadcast over the internet. Shortly after the intermission Bettie Mercury walked by and mentioned that there were 1,100 viewers online. Eleven Hundred! I think it’s safe to say that these women can draw a crowd.

The Texecutioner’s position looked grim at the start of the second half, but the girls were clearly not ready to give up. Bonnie Thunders of NY started with yet another sting for NY. She scored four points for her team widening the score gap to 20. But the TX consistency was hard to beat. Texas snagged nie of the next 11 lead jamming status. Lucille, Rice Rocket, Bloody Mary, and Olivia collectively scored 37 points which included a 9 point jam by Olivia as Fisti Cuffs got sent out on a penalty. With only a few minutes left in the bout the Texas team had a 15 point lead. But then things took a turn for the worse for the southerns. Their aggressive playing resulted in two consecutive jams with three of their players in the penalty box. Bonnie Thunders first tried to take advantage but was held to six points in what could only be described as superhuman skating by Rice Rocket and Bullet Tooth Tracy. But the tide could not be held back much longer. In the next two jams Suzy Hotrod and Bonnie Thunders brought in 25 points for the ladies in black. With only a few seconds left on the clock, Gotham put Bonnie, their star jammer, back into play. She snuck through the pack, secured the lead jammer status and the Gotham fans erupted!

Final score - Gotham 84, Texecutioners 76.

Statistics!

MVP
Gotham: Kandy Kakes
Texecutioners: Bullet Tooth Tracy

Lead Scorers
Gotham:
Bonnie Thunders 51 points in 18 jams (11 lead)
Suzy HotRod 31 points in 12 jams (4 lead)

Texecutioners:
Bloody Mary 29 points in 12 jams (5 lead)
Lucille Brawl 21 points in 10 jams (8 lead)
Olivia Shootin’ John 21 points in 13 jams (6 lead)

Great job to all the players! If you’d like to learn more about Connecticut roller derby, check out the website here.

For information on Gotham, please head on over to their website here; and for information on the Texecutioners, you can check out their website here.

It’s probably worth noting that the Texas girls kept up their tour and followed up Friday’s bout with a win against Charm City and another against Boston. Well done Texas!

On Friday night I had the pleasure of attending Connecticut’s roller derby double header. Expectations were high. Connecticut’s travel team, the Stepford Sabotage, took on Westchester County’s Suburban Brawl in the first half, while Austin’s Texecutioners traveled 1,800 miles to put NY city’s own Gotham Girls to the test.

The bout logo and tagline.

Tickets were in high demand and crowd came in force to support their favorites. Stepford was up first. The girls in green were welcoming back a few players. It was great to see Black Cherry (back after two bouts) and Chelsea Grin (back after… a year? I think?) skating again. The CT roster was full and I’m certain that the extra players were a welcome relief to their taxed teammates deep into the 30 minute periods.

Sabotage:
Black Cherry
Chelsea Grin
C.Mya Rage
Doomcake
Eleanor Bruisevelt
Ether Bunny
Milla LowLife
Miz ConSepJen
Parker Poison
Revengela
Violet Riot
Luciana Pulverotti
Pearl Jammer

Suburbia roller derby, based out of Westchester County, NY was kickstarted by former CT skaters Slim Fast and Suffah Kate. Slim Fast last skated with CT in June of ‘07. It was great to see her wearing skates again. The girls from Westchester came wearing camouflage skirts and bootie shorts.

Brawl:
Domestic violet
IV Drop
Ann Sane
AWOL
Brawl Stanley
Dina Sore Jr.
el Pass-o
Hard-Core Vette
Pony Girl
Slim Fast
Smashing Pumpkin
Suffah Kate
Taryn Limbs
Vixen von Bruizen

As the crowd cheered, Pearl Jammer and IV Drop took their positions at the jammer starting line. Ether and Domestic Violet wore the pivot caps. The whistles blew and the girls took off. IV got a quick lead off a block by Dina Sore Jr. and snaked to the front of the pack. Unfortunately, her efforts were tainted by a foul so she didn’t score lead jamming status. She did however, have the opportunity to loop around and snag three points before Pearl had a chance to take lead jammer status and cut the jam short.

Hard-Core Vette rolled to the tape next for Suburbia against Milla. Milla pulled a grand slam. One player for suburbia was sent out on penalty in this second jam which paved the way for a beautiful 10 point jam by Elle. Parker, Miz, and Chelsea did a great job of slowing down the pack so that Elle could make the rounds. Pearl and Milla stretched the streak with 13 and 5 points respectively in the following two jams. Milla seemed to pause at the completion of her grand slam in the 5th jam. It was hard to tell if she was giving her team recoup time or trying to run down the clock in the midst of Stepford’s comfortable 30 point lead - though it seemed a bit early in the bout to be running the clock. The lost time did not come back to bite the girls in green in the first half. They kept the pressure on Suburbia widening the point gap.

Suburbia made a bit of a tactical error in the 11th jam. Pearl was sent out on penalty; Hard-Core Vette was skating as an unopposed jammer! Connecticut’s pack (also less a blocker on penalty) kept close for a moment and then took off! Unexpectedly, Suburbia took up the chase. Had they held back they may have been able to initiate an out of play call on the Sabotage. Blockers must be within 20feet of the pack in order to initiate a block. Oftentimes the pack will split as one team tries to slow the pack and the other team tries to speed up the pack. During normal play the pack operates in a balance between these two extremes, but when a girl is out on penalty the out of play rule allows the fully represented team to force the speed of the pack. In this case, Suburbia had an opening to slow the pack down dramatically to let Vette get some big points, but with her team chasing Stepford, Vette couldn’t make it around fast enough.

The first half ended with a score of 72 to 17 in favor of Connecticut.

Both teams were alternating through a consistent core of jammers. Suburbia saw regular play by IV, Hard-Core Vette, Smashing Pumpkin, and Dina Sore Jr.; Stepford called on the regulars Pearl, Milla, and Elle with the occasional Chelsea and Doom. Interestingly, Milla was played far more in the first half than the second. She really was on fire. At one point, one of my close friends gushed “Milla LowLife is, like, Kamikaze today” as Milla astonishingly chased down lead jammer Domestic Violet.

The second half started with Elle and IV Drop. I must admit, midway through the first two jams of the second half I was distracted by Pam Terror as she came around offering cupcakes for 2 dollars. I got a chocolate star cupcake with a fun sprinkled frosting. As I gluttonously finished my delicious cupcake I suddenly heard an overwhelming wave of cheering. I looked up to see a Suburbia player on the ground and Black Cherry blowing kisses to the crowd. I have no idea what happened - but I’m certain it was epic.

Pearl was in rare form in the 8th jam of the second half. I swear once she sprinted off the starting line she didn’t slow once. With the likes of Miz and Revengela in the pack, gaps seem to form miraculously in front of the jammer. 12 points later the girls in green had a lead of 78. The bout wound down with consistent performances by all the girls. IV Drop should be commended for her extremely strong start in the 13th. Doomcake ended Connecticut’s evening taking lead jammer status and throwing up her patented fist pump as the time ticked to zero. The final score: 124 - 38

Statistics!

MVP’s
Stepford: Pearl Jammer
Suburbia: Suffah Kate

Lead Scorers

Stepford:
Pearl Jammer 58 points in 12 jams (7 lead)
Milla LowLife 38 points in 10 jams (5 lead)
Eleanor Bruisevelt 19 points in 6 jams (3 lead)

Suburbia:
Dina Sore Jr 11 points in 8 jams (2 lead)
IV Drop 10 points in 8 jams (4 lead)

Penalties
Stepford:
Miz four visits
Chelsea 3 visits

Suburbia:
Hard-Core Vette 3 visits

To read about the Gotham Texecutioners bout, click here!

Great job to all the players. It was great to see Slim Fast and Suffah Kate bring their team to CT for this extreme night. The CT girls will be at it again on July 25th at the Connecticut Sports Center in Woodbridge. If you’d like more information on this upcoming bout or any other facet of CT roller derby, check out the website here.

For information on Suburbia’s Roller Derby, check out their website here.

On Sunday, Jesse, Sarah, and I hit up the brand new Science Center in Hartford. It was opening weekend for the museum and wow - it was crazy fun. I’m extremely impressed by Hartford. Our abandoned city really needs locations like this one to encourage more residents to visit their state capital. Now all we need is a major university plunked into the center of town and we’d be golden.

The Science Center is a beautiful building built over the I-91 corridor. If you’re driving north or south through Hartford the building’s impossible to miss. It has a beautiful wave-like roof and an overhanging diagonal glass wall that gives a glimpse into the building’s atrium.

The exhibits were a blast. First and foremost for fun was a relaxation game. Two participants would sit across from each other and put on headbands with sensors in the front. Graphs above each player indicate the brain activity of that particular player. On the table between them, is a long glass tube within which a ball is floating. The ball will move towards whichever player has more brain activity.

The goal is to keep yourself as calm as possible and get the ball to reach the other player.

HOLY FUN.

MSPaint dramatization

This has got me thinking about how I might create one of these games for the house of rock. I can’t imagine it’d be too difficult.

Other awesome exhibits:

The Geology of CT.
Helmet Testing (a-la giant hammer)
The CT River
Erosion
EXPLORE SPACE

Well done Connecticut Science Center!!! And Hartford, I’m proud of you.

Long-time reader, rare commenter, Blue Sarah sent me over an amazing auction link this morning. I’m not sure how long it’ll stay up, so I’ve copied the content to this post. Here’s the original link.

FOR SALE:
Scary Washing Machine. No really, it’s terrifying.

Old mid 80’s Fisher and Paykel top loader.
Goes like a rocket!

By ‘goes like a rocket’ I actually mean that literally.
It actually shakes the house.

It’s the loudest most violent sounding washing machine I have ever encountered.
It makes guests scared and children cry. I’ve lived with it like that for almost a year and it still scares me.

Once while washing a load of towells it got a bit out of balance and it got so out of control for a minute that I swear I actually saw a porthole to another dimension open above it just for a second, there were dinosaurs on the otherside and they looked scared too, it almost sucked me in but I held onto for my life to the deepfreeze. It sucked my shoes and pants off though and it got the iron as well which pissed me off because it was quite a good one. Luckily it sucked it’s own power cord out of the wall and stopped before the whole house went in.
I drew a picture of the dinosaurs i saw in case people didn’t believe me, they are partly red because my green felt ran out half way through.

I think it would be good to paint it matt black and put steel spikes all over it and draw demons on the front, however I have added an image of another possible customization option for people who like horses.

On heavy duty spin cycle it sort of sounds a bit like the tortured howls of 1000 undead writhing in the sulphury pits of hell mixed with a train with carriages full of scrap iron sliding down the road with no wheels, on fire, into a bell factory.

Thankfully its bite is not as bad as it’s bark. It washes fine, completes cycles, does everything it’s supposed to.
It leaks a bit when it’s running, always has.
Its a bit grubby, could do with a wipe down, I refuse to touch it because I’m still getting over the whole dinosaur scare thing.

If your in a fix and need a cheap washing machine and are either completely deaf or hate your neighbors this baby is for you.

$1 reserve, pick up only, Waterview Auckland.
Selling to pay for my counseling.

HA HA! Thanks Blue Sarah!

I am proud to report that I was promoted to advanced brown belt in Kung Fu last Friday.

The progression:

The structure goes something like this:

Beginner
Yellow: short classes, 3 self defenses,
Gold: 2 self defenses, 1 hand form
Orange: 3 self defenses, 1 hand form
Intermediate:
Jade: medium class length, begin sparring, 3 self defenses, 1/2 hand form
Green: 3 self defenses, 1/2 hand form
Purple: 3 self defenses, 1 hand form, 1 bo staff form
Blue: 3 self defenses, 1 hand form, 1 bo staff form
Advanced:
Red: 3 self defenses, 1 hand form, advanced strikes
Brown: longer training classes, 3 self defenses, 1 hand form, 1 bo staff form
Adv. Brown: 1 sword form, perfection of techniques
Awesome:
Black: awesomeness achieved.

We’re probably looking at a solid year of training before I can start looking forward to a Black Belt test. This is not depressing however, because the immediate future holds a fair bit of excitement in that I’ve started learning sword. Last night I was handed a wooden sword with which I’ll learn all the basic moves. Last night I was working on two simple figure eight movements - nothing crazy. I imagine it’ll be some time before I try my hand at the metal blade.

I also need to better condition my body for the black belt test. Going from Adv. Brown to black is the first time that you need to pass a specific test to progress forward (as far as I know, each progressing degree of black belt also requires a test). The pre-test is a private ordeal, so none of us are sure what exactly happens. Kung Fu Roland is up for his pre-test this Saturday (good luck Roland!!!)

What we DO know is that we must perform all our forms, all our self defenses, fight two opponents at once, perform 50 panther pushups, 50 row-boats (or pikes), and hold a horse stance with a bo’ staff resting across your legs for 150 seconds.

Right now I know (but have not yet perfected) the forms (excluding the sword form) and all the self defenses, but you can bet your sweet bippy that I am not up to par on my horse stance. Right now I’m probably hitting 60 seconds at best. I’m going to have to figure out some sort of training regimen to help me towards that task.

After the pre-test is passed, there’s a ceremonial test where family and friends are invited. It’s at this point where there will be a huge party and much celebration. BLACK BELTS FOR EVERYBODY!

Special congratulations to Tom and Mykal who tied the knot this past weekend!!! Tom and Mykal have been dating for… ten years? yes, I believe that’s right. These two will have a future of fun and delicious foods ahead of them.

I first met the duo in my college dorm. Tom lived a few doors down and he pretty much carried me through my Computer Science courses. I remember one particular night where I was struggling ferociously with a C++ program. He helped me until near midnight then left me to finish the program. I worked all night. In the morning, Tom came back to check how I’d been doing and found that I had dramatically regressed - the program was tons worse than it had been when he left me. Once again, he saved me.

Our friendship strengthened further when we came up with the amazing robot game that started with pennies and dimes and quickly progressed to sweet computer programming by Tom and a wealth of MSPaint robot drawings by me. I’m pretty sure the game still exists, I’ll try and hunt down the program and post it.

During our later years in college I would regularly head over to Tom and Mykal’s apartment to make delicious foods and escape my all too common lunch of tomato soup and couscous. We’d play games and make tasty meals. Spicy pickled carrots, fresh tortillas, amazing desserts, spontaneous deliciousness that resulted from their winning the APO Iron Chef tournament - these were just a few of the fruits of their cookery.

Additionally, Tom and Mykal have a strong passion for gaming. They introduced me to a whole bunch of fun games like Niagra and I even think my first game of Settlers was on their board. Mykal loves crafts as well. A few years ago she made me a coffee mug set (I’ve wrote about it before). Every day I use that little red mug for my coffee and every day I mentally appreciate Mykal’s handwork and generosity.

They love to sail! They love to read! They love everything awesome!

I am extremely happy for Tom and Mykal. Of all my friends I think they might be the most well matched couple. They have strongly shared interests but have not lost their independence.

I ask you, dear readers, to raise your virtual glass with me and toast the formal union of these two great people.

To Tom and Mykal! Congratulations!!

Mykal and Tom on their wedding day.

On Saturday afternoon I finally had my graduation ceremony for my RPI MBA. It was a beautiful day and a wonderful honor to be part of the celebration. RPI President Dr. Shirley Ann Jackson did an amazing job speaking and presenting the awards.

My RPI cohort

Receiving the degree from Dr. Jackson

Dad D, Mike D, and Mom D.

Woo!

Special thanks to my folks, Theresa, and Sarah for sharing the day with me.

When I headed home a few weeks ago, my mom let me use her embossing kit to make another sweet card (reminder of the last card.)

Here’s the new one!

Please note the little windows in the upper right behind which there are sweet dinosaurs.

Awesome.

Whoa!

My Friends:

Nereus, the underwater vehicle I have been working on since 2005,
touched down in the Challenger Deep, 10900 meters depth at around 10am
this morning and has been working all day collecting rock and core
samples. We have had plenty of problems with nearly all the vehicle
systems during a series of shallower dives over the last 2 weeks but
overall everything is working well and our scientists Tim Shank and
Patty Fryer are very happy with the pictures and samples. Nereus is
currently the only existing vehicle that operates below 7000 meters.

-Daniel

AWESOME
Amazing job Daniel and co.

The Nereus before its dive to The Deep, The Challenger Deep

from the Schenk Tank.

My two most recent literary conquests were Ayn Rand’s Anthem and Karl Marx’s The Communist Manifesto.

WARNING: Spoilers.

What a perfect book combination! Firstly, both are very short. Anthem is maybe 80 pages, The Communist Manifesto about 40-50* Secondly, both books predicted amazingly similar resulting oppressions despite completely opposite political views. Rand communicates her ideas via the story of Equality 7-2521. He’s a dude who has grown up in a complete collectivism environment. The population is imprisoned in bureaucracy and all aspects of individuality have been banned. The world is bleak, white, mundane, and scripted by ‘The Councils’. Equality 7-2521 has an awakening and finds an escape to the mundane through the development of himself and, essentially, capitalism. He develops an individuality and an ego with which he reinvents property and plans a capitalist revolution! (cue trumpet fanfare)

Karl Marx, on the other hand, conveys his point with a succinct presentation of his beliefs. He describes Capitalism not as a path to triumph but instead as a path to exploitation. He looks at capitalistic society and sees the few commanding bourgeoisie posed above the many victimized proletariat. Without exploitation, Marx argues that there can be no capitalism. He predicts that a purely capitalistic world will continue to widen the wealth gap until the vast majority of the world’s population will live in a bleak, mundane world scripted by the bourgeoisie. He ends by calling for a revolution.

If this were a fight, who would win?

Readability
Point goes to Ayn Rand. Marx is academic in his writing style and it can get boring. It took me longer to read Marx’s shorter essay than Ayn Rand’s longer essay. Ayn did a great job of keeping the storyline captivating and the plot moving.

Potency
hmm. Tie. Both predicted pretty miserable results if you were to choose their opponents path. I found it fascinating and awesome that both predicted such a similar outcome though.

Support
Karl Marx does a better job with supporting his arguments. But… I guess that’s expected. Ayn is telling a story - there’s little room to really get into supporting historical facts and such. Marx on the other hand is arguing and does a good job in cranking the volume to 11 on his political amplifier.

Which would I recommend?
I would recommend that you read whichever book you disagree with more. For those hardcore Republicans amongst us, try to get through the Communist Manifesto. For the diehard Liberals, go for Ayn Rand. I would say that both of these books are important reads for anyone who deems themselves well-read.

Which do I agree with?
Had you asked me before reading these books, I would have guessed that I’d go with Ayn Rand. I’m a strong believer in the theory that hard work can help pull the most out of luck into a position of strength. My Dad is my example of the ultimate hard worker who brought a comfortable lifestyle to his family through incredible dedication to his work and schooling and a fortitude to stick with it no matter what. He is a man who won’t stop for his own convenience and I’m quite certain he’ll never stop working for the benefit of his family, friends, and community. If the world were full of people like my Dad, capitalism would work beautifully.

But there are a lot of people who get higher capitalistic stature by pulling those around them down. I see Marx’s argument as a clever way to prevent exploitation. Rand, I think, argues that the world will stop trying if you start spreading wealth. I’m not sure I agree. I remember reading in one of my organizational behavior classes that there were three sources of motivation: Power (doing something to gain Authority), Social (doing what you do for your family or friends), and Achievement (I do it so I can say I did it!). I think I’m a mix of achievement and social. I think my Dad is something similar. Perhaps Marx is right. Perhaps if we removed the financial benefits of doing work, the world would not grind to a halt… perhaps instead we’d find a new motivation. The kind of motivation that drives people to publish free online software or the kind of motivation that advances the whole populous not just the individual.

I strongly encourage you to read both of these books. Reading both gives a great representation of opposite views. Hopefully they can help you better understand both ends of the political scale. These books definitely helped me.

*it’s a little hard to tell length of books with the Kindle. Both of these books were completed within a 2-3 hour period (each).

On Saturday, Kevin and I took the train into New York to participate in Improv Everywhere’s MP3 Experiment. It worked like this: a whole heap of people downloaded an MP3 into their MP3 player. Then, at a decided time and location (4:00:00pm, Roosevelt Island, NY) we all hit play at the same time.

We’d been instructed to come to the event in either a Red, Yellow, Blue, or Green t-shirt. As 4:00:00 approached huge crowds of people in colorful t-shirts started pouring out of the subway station.

photo by Brian Fountain

We were given a general area to collect (anywhere in the blue). And at 4pm, on the dot, everyone started the track.

It was a mix of music and instructions that guided us through hilarity including the following:

- High fives for everyone
- Nap time

photo by Katie Sokoler

- Dance Parties (ho-down, robot, and 1920’s)
- Freeze tag
- A giant war with inflatable weapons (hammers vs. bats)

photo by Electricllya687

- An epic wolf story
- A long march towards unity

photo by Brian Fountain

Overall, there were probably about 2000 people who came to the event. It lasted for 47 minutes and was one of the most unique events I’ve experienced.

After the event, Kevin and I met up with Jesse and Tyler. Tyler was a major player in the MP3 planning and execution. His primary role was the development of all the music played. It was all original work and if you’d like to check some of it out, head over to his MySpace page Here. For a specific song sample, check out Peters and the Wolves here.

Great job Improv Everywhere and Tyler! Also, Special thanks to Vivienne for letting me borrow her MP3 player and to Kevin for joining me on Saturday’s adventure.

I’ve wanted to do a feature on Ruth and her art for awhile. Ruth is an explosion of creative artistic righteousness. She makes all sorts of fun things from tiny tiny bound books to cat pictures. She also has the pleasure of being married to the salty Ryan Schenk and is pretty awesome at jumping rope.

Books!
Let’s dive into her artistry shall we? Most noteworthy I think are her bound books. Her results really make me want to learn the ways of binding. Her notebooks are really sweet.

Oh Snap! That book is Japanese Stab Bound!

Ruth wasn’t satisfied with normal sized books. She needed to make them smaller and more adorable.

it’s so tiny!

In addition to the tiny books she makes artistic accordion books, often animal related.

Frog!

Other fun books:
Cicada Book.

Octopus!

Meowkay?
And then comes her potent obsession with cats. She loves kitties. and she loves to draw kitties.

Tim’s cat Chairman Meow

Needlework? A’int no thing. Embroidered cat!

Embroidered cat!

Perhaps her crowning cat picture achievement was when the famous gorilla Koko showed a deep appreciation for one of Ruth’s kitty drawings.
Video. (skip to 1:30)
Screenshot.

Other artistic things that make Ruth totally awesome.
One can’t forget her Latte Art.

Cloudpeople. I’m not sure what’s up with them… but they are cute.

Awesome!

So, if you’re interested in exploring the depths of Ruth’s art, or purchasing some of her tiny tiny cute books you can check out her etsy page HERE. and for more examples of her awesomeness, check out her Flickr page HERE.

I’m looking for new rising cultural heroes. If you are aware of any, please provide a link and description in the comments to something different, unique, and awesome. Mainstream is okay, but underground would be even better. Perhaps you have a friend who performs hard rock with a theremin, or a relative who builds chairs out of old recycled VHS tapes. Do you know someone who has an uncomfortable ability to sculpt copper? Comment it up!

I’ll start.

I’ve linked to Reggie Watts a whole heap of times on this very dot com. He’s a very strongly haired dude who engages in comedic and musically intense solo performance work. He is the lead singer in the soul band Maktub and also performs alone with a loops sampler. He’s extremely entertaining and has amazing vocal and rocking skills. I first heard of him a few years ago, but lately his popularity has been expanding somewhat dramatically. His push into the mainstream boomed recently with his performance (linked to below) on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon.

A few of my musical favorites (I’ve linked to some of these in the past):

Out of Control
Freestyle
I want Candy.

Reggie’s comedic style is different. His performance often seems disjointed and a bit unexpected, but definitely funny and laced with skill of a professional.

Late Night with Jimmy Fallon (starts at 35:18 (right after the last commercial))

Fuller, longer version of a similar performance:
Reggie on The Sound of Young America

Maktub music samples.
Buy Maktub music.

Reggie MSPaint.

I’m working to try and score an interview with Reggie, which would, of course, be posted here on MikeDiDonato.com. we’ll see if it works out. In the meantime, if you’ve discovered some secret underground artist or musician that you’d like to share, please post your find in the comments!

On Saturday night the Connecticut Roller Girls met once again to face off in a flurry of fury. This bout put the Devil’s Rejects against the Ave Marias.

The Ave Marias were introduced first.

DoomCake (captain)
Parker Poison (assistant captain)
Anita Chainsaw
Ether Bunny
Guns N’ Bruises
Lemmy Atter
MiZ CoN SepJeN
Pam Terror
Pearl Jammer
and visiting skater Zoomz Byda Boomz

Guns N’ Bruises was returning to the CT league after a short time off. Welcome back Guns!

The Devil’s Rejects were introduced next. Their red and black outfits were in stark contrast to the angelic blue and white of the Ave Marias.

Revengela
Milla LowLife
Babe Vigoda
C. Mya Rage
Eleanor Bruisevelt
Flora Goodthyme
Liberty Violence
Luciana Pulverotti
Violet Riot
Vixen Vega

This was Babe Vigoda’s (#56) first bout, and Vixen’s return after a brief break in the action. Welcome Babe and welcome back Vixen!!

Elle and Pam, rolled up to the line to start this extremely unique bout. It didn’t take long for the Ave Marias to gain control of the scoreboard. After Elle’s 2 points at the onset, the Devil’s Rejects were scoreless for the next six jams. The defensive action within the Ave Maria pack was commendable. The girls capitalized on a few hugely strategic blocks in those first few minutes. Ether and Parker put the stop on Milla in the second jam, Pearl closed the door on Violet in the fourth, and Miz cleared the way for Pearl in the fifth. The Devil’s Rejects responded in kind. The crowd erupted in excitement when Elle ended Pearl’s jamming success in the fifth by dramatically pushing her teammate into Pearl’s path.

Halfway through the first period, Violet breathed some life into the struggling Devil’s Rejects. Her run of success began as she and Elle worked hard to successfully hold Doom to 4 points while the Devil’s jammer sat out on a penalty. Doom reached the front of the pack quickly off the starting line, but Violet, acting as pivot, held her back long enough for Elle to join in the defense. Just two jams later Violet robbed Pam of a profitable jam by breaking a brutal block by Elle and staying tight on Pam’s tail.

Riding off of violet’s defense, Flora, Milla, and Elle pulled 2, 5, and 3 points respectively. Unfortunately, the Devil’s 10 point drive wasn’t quite enough to close the gap between the two teams. Ether, Pam, and Pearl came back twice as hard with 5 consecutive claims on lead jammer and 20 points. Things were looking grim for the Devil’s Rejects until Doom was pulled out on a penalty with only a few minutes remaining in the first period. Elle and Flora took advantage of the opportunity and concluded the first half with a 9 and 4 point jam respectively. Halftime score? 38 for the Ave Marias, and 25 for the Devil’s Rejects.

Milla tries to push by Zoomz
photography by Dan Camera

One thing that made this bout particularly strange was the occasional thinning of the pack. The refs were frequently forced to make calls to pull the pack back together. Sometimes it seemed deliberate as a team tried to force the pack into a slower or faster pace. Pack speed can be a critical variable as the jammers scream around the track pulling points on a slow pack - or losing their endurance as they try to catch up to the fast pack. Other times, however, the pivots seemed to be trying to get their blockers to act as a single unit without success.

Elle pulls to the inside to try and sneak by Lemme Atter
photography by Dan Camera

The second half started off with the Ave Marias aggressively pulling points. However, Pam’s 9 and Pearl’s 8 (special bravo to Parker for a beautiful block of Rage) were the last big point jams for the women in white. Violet Riot came in strong yet again for the Devil’s Rejects with a 9 point jam. Shortly thereafter the Ave Marias seemed to change their jammer strategy. For the first half, the teams were rotating their jammers regularly - mixing it up between 4 or 5 women, but the second half saw the Ave Marias depending almost entirely on Pearl and Pam, only occasionally mixing it up with a serving of Doomcake. These jammers kept the lead for the Ave Marias, but the Devil’s Rejects were working hard for a comeback.

Holding back Doom.
photography by Dan Camera

Some especially commendable skating included Guns N’ Bruises decisive bump of Violet in the ninth jam (giving Pearl an edge for a 5 point jam) and Elle and Pearl’s furious race in the tenth which had the crowd on the edge of their seats. Talk about speed!

The night concluded with the Ave Marias with 84 and the Devil’s Rejects at 65.

Statistics!

Lead Scorers
Ave Marias
Pearl Jammer 41 points, 7 leads in 12 jams
Pam Terror 35 points, 7 leads in 13 jams

Devil’s Rejects
Violet Riot 18 points, 2 leads in 7 jams
Eleanor Bruisevelt 16 points, 3 leads in 8 jams

Penalty Queens
Flora and Ether graced the bench most frequently with 5 and 4 visits respectively.

MVPs
Ave Marias: Guns N’ Bruises
Devil’s Rejects: Violet Riot

Special thanks to Dan Camera for his photography. Check out all his photos here.

If you haven’t experienced Derby, then I implore you to check out the June 19th double header at the CT Sports Center. Connecticut’s own Stepford Sabotage will be taking on the Suburban Brawl, and The Gothem Girls will be taking on the Texicutioners. With Gothem ranked #1 in the nation, and the Texecutioners ranked #4, it’s bound to be an extremely exciting night.

For additional information check out the roller girl website.

Great job to all the players and participants on Saturday, it is such a joy to watch you skate.

On Easter weekend the girls of Connecticut donned their helmets and pads yet again in a contest of endurance, speed, and aggression. This month the mix-match of teams put the Iron Maidens against the Pop Tarts. The Iron Maidens came out for their introductions dressed in full metal regalia. Special props to Violet Riot for her fantastic hair. The Iron Maidens were made up of the following players:

Anita Chainsaw
Lemmy Atter
Miz Con SepJen
Pam Terror
Parker Poison
Revengela
Violet Riot
Em Dash (Gotham)
Crown Joules (Boston)
and Rocky (Boston)

The Pop Tarts came out in their pink tutus and bright colors to the peppy rhythms of Cyndi Lauper. Their team included the following:

C. Mya Rage
Ether Bunny
Doomcake
Liberty Violence
Luciana Pulverotti
Milla LowLife
Pearl Jammer
Haley Contagious (Boston)
Killery Clinton (Boston)
and Zoomz Byda Boomz (Boston)

Just looking at rosters alone, the teams looked pretty evenly matched. The Iron Maidens had a strong selection of pack skaters and visiting skaters Em Dash and Rocky had body types that screamed jammer. Meanwhile the Pop Tarts had a wonderful selection of pack leaders as well as a strong jamming base with Pearl, Doom, and Rage.

Interestingly, as the bout got started the control of the jams shifted dramatically towards the Iron Maidens. Pearl gave the Pop Tarts a beautiful start against Violet with a quick 4 points. But the lead was short lived. Pam Terror, who seems to have brought her game to a new level, followed Pearl with a Grand Slam and the Iron Maidens didn’t turn back.

Early on, the hits came on strong. In the fourth jam, Revengela scored 5 points for her team after Milla was brutally knocked to the ground. In the mayhem, I didn’t notice whose shoulder inflicted that crushing blow, but rest assured it was effective.

Next up at the jamming line was Gotham girl: Em Dash. Em Dash has the height and form of a jammer and right when she took off, it was clear that she was here to do business. Her sprint was opposed by Pearl who kept Em Dash to an honest 4 points, but it was clear there was more than one strong jamming contender on the Iron Maidens team. The Iron Maidens continued their onslaught with 6 unanswered jams, distancing themselves from the struggling Pop Tarts. Halfway through the first period the score stood 41 to 11. The Pop Tarts had some serious ground to cover. But cover they did!

Especially noteworthy was a 7 point jam from Pearl. The jam put Pearl (with pivot Ether) against Violet Riot (supported by pivot Crown Joules). Pearl broke through the pack after a successful block by Ether. As Pearl looped around to enter the pack a second time, Milla screamed out from nowhere and opened a gap for Pearl. It’s these well orchestrated cooperative moments when it’s easy to understand the glory that is Roller Derby.

Killery Clinton followed for the Pop Tarts, and though it was a low scoring jam, Killery executed a glorious evasion of Miz ConSepJen’s ruthless shoulder. Shortly thereafter Doom took in 4 points, and Pearl 5 more. The first half ended with a prime opportunity for Rage. With two of the Iron Maidens out on penalty, Rage screamed around the track first once, and then again getting 9 points and pulling the Pop Tarts back within striking distance.

Score at the half? Iron Maidens 48, Pop Tarts 41.

It should be mentioned that these bouts always have a DJ. This particular bout had DJ Ebomb spinning, and he was doing a great job of sticking to the theme. Heavy metal tunes were played back to back with 80’s pop hits by the likes of Debbie Gibson. It was hilarious. The music always adds a lot to the Derby experience. Way to go DJ Ebomb!

The second half got underway with Em Dash starting against fellow Boston Derby Dame, Haley Contagious. Em Dash was in prime form yet again, and took 7 points for the Maidens. Three jams later Em Dash went at it again, this time pulling in 11 points for her team. Her success was due in part to the strong blocking of her teammates. At no time was that more apparent than when Miz so solidly hit Killery Clinton that Killery lay stunned momentarily on the sidelines… pausing to find her breath… before getting up and resuming her jam.

Sitting on the sidelines is somewhat risky. At one point Ether Bunny came crashing into the girl sitting next to me. Ether scrambled out of the fan’s lap, caught her eye, smiled and said “Hi!!” before skating off and returning to the pack. This small interaction does well to show that these women, despite their brutal hits and seemingly aggressive nature, really have a great time on the track and are typically in high spirits regardless of which of their friends is knocking them to their knees.

The Iron Maidens continued their attack. The strong jamming of Em Dash, Pam, and Rocky when coupled with Miz, Anita, and Parker’s ability to hold back the Pop Tart jammers, made the team a tough competitor. The Pop Tarts were by no means out of their league. In fact, both teams had almost the exact same number of lead jams. The Iron Maidens had just been slightly more effective at turning those opportunities into points.

The final score?
Iron Maidens 95, Pop Tarts 61

Statistics!
MVP
Iron Maidens: Em Dash
Pop Tarts: Ether Bunny

The MVP selections for this bout were extremely well deserved. Em Dash was decidedly the high scorer for the game and Ether Bunny (who acted as Pop Tart pivot for 14 of the 38 jams) was a strong and consistent defender.

High Scorers!
Iron Maidens
Em Dash: 46 points in 12 jams, 7 lead.
Rocky: 24 points in 9 jams, 6 lead
Pam Terror: 20 points in 6 jams, 2 lead

Pop Tarts!
Pearl Jammer: 36 points in 11 jams, 9 lead (whoa)
C. Mya Rage: 10 points in 7 jams, 1 lead

Penalties!
Once again, we had a pretty clean night. Rocky and Revengela were the closest to penalty Queens having visited the box three times each.

The girls will be hitting the track again locally on May 9th. If you’re a Derby fan, you should also make note of the June 6th bout in Holyoke against Pioneer Valley. It’s a double header featuring the Death Quads vs. Dirty Dozen and the Sabotage vs. Western Mass Destruction! That will likely be a very fun bout to watch.

Great job to all the skaters, refs, and participants. If you’d like to learn more about derby or learn more about the Connecticut league, check out the CT roller girl website here.

Dad D. sent me a beautiful story regarding his trials and tribulations surrounding his exploration of the anatomy of a Mortise Lock. It’s an awesome story and a brilliant mechanical device. Enjoy!

“The Mortise Falcon”

My jaw was clenched on that dark and stormy morning as I stumbled out of that small local church that I called my own. This was not the cathedral that inspires the soul to leap but a quiet, yet pleasant, rustic building where very few parishioners were left from a once mighty congregation. Oh yes, there had been hundreds, but that was centennials ago.

Why the clenched jaw? I had another assignment! There is a rule among those that “do” that 10% of the crowd does the work and 90% come along for the ride. Well, when typical attendance is 12, 10% is not a whole lot of people. And when the average age of an aging church is 92, if you‘re under 60, you’re it!

My assignment? “The door knob had been ripped off a back door, could I fix it?” There had been a theater group that had used the church; and unfortunately, when they could not get the back door open, they applied significant leverage and the door knob exploded into their hands. An emergency exit for the church had been murdered, and as Sam would say to Bridgid, ”When a man’s partner is killed, he’s supposed to do something about it.”

The church is well over 100 years old. There had been a fire around 1930. We should assume that this door mechanism was at least that old. There is no question that I expected an adventure and the discovery of a mechanical marvel that would rival any “figurine of gold and encrusted with jewels.” With trusty multi-blade screw driver in hand, I began to remove the Mortise lock.

The trick to removing the mortise lock is to remove all inside and outside handles, remove the screws that hold the mechanism into the door mortise (hole in the door jam), and most importantly, remove the cylinder that contains the key coding - this cylinder simply unscrews once the long set screw on the face plate of the mortise is removed.

I chose to do this myself since the church does not have a lot of money. As Sam would say, “to keep family troubles in the family.” Sure, it would have been easy to get a locksmith to come over and fix it, but the web clearly suggested that a replacement mortise lock would be as much as $500 for an antique replacement and locksmith labor is a premium cost since they are always busy getting car doors open when electronic or mechanical keys are left inside.

So once the Mortise lock is removed, this is what it looks like.

The Mortise Lock controls the deadbolt (#1), the override buttons (#2), the latch (#3), the thumb clip (#4) exterior handle, the inside door knob (#5), and the key access (top left corner).

There’s the lock cylinder which unscrews (the image above shows in screwed back in).

This is a lot for a 6” by 3” by 1” antique mechanism to do.

Immediately, being minimally versed in high tech communication systems, I began to look on the web for instructions, hints, or exploded views. And there was not much. So whatever I found had to be posted on the web to close this information hole! The name on the Mortise Lock was RUSSWIN and it was inscribed with “P1213”. I found the RUSSWIN company (now Corbin-RUSSWIN) and wrote an email. The answer: “Sorry, we don’t carry information nor parts for something that old.”

So I took it apart! And this is what it looks like:

(1) Deadbolt and Deadbolt thumb Knob Socket
(2) Override Buttons
(3) Latch
(4) Outside Thumb clip*
(5) Inside door knob socket

After I took out each precision mechanical part, the case looks like this.

Balloon 1 points to the Murder Victim - a broken cast pin.

And then I found the problem, the pin (identified in the above jpg) had broken off so all motion from the knob was no longer rotating the adjacent mechanism but simply sliding it to the left in the picture. The pin was a few thousandths more than ¼ inch. A standard size! The inner diameter of the brass pieces that surrounded that pin were 10 thousandths wider – perfect ! All I needed was a new ¼ inch replacement pin.

Not thinking that I would even try to weld this, I found a threaded standoff, cut it to 3/8”, drilled a hole where the old pin had been and screwed in the new pin with a new brass screw from the bottom. ($0.70). The new knob $8.00.

Success! Now all I have to do is hang this Mortise lock back into place with hope that my new pin would work and would last.

And as Sam Spade said to the guilty murderer:

”I hope they don’t hang you, precious, by that sweet neck… The chances are you’ll get off with life. That means if you’re a good girl, you’ll be out in 20 years. I’ll be waiting for you. If they hang you, I’ll always remember you.”

And now that I know what a Mortise Lock looks like, I will be ready to replace the pin again after 20 years to life.

*Thumb Clip isn’t the best description for the device. When you push that with your thumb, the button pushes a bar that hits this little clip . The clip transfers the motion to push the latch open bar which needs to rotate around that pin that broke.

Thanks Dad D! Awesome exploratory look into the depths of the Mortise Lock.

Jesse introduced me to a pretty fun game idea. The basics are this: Without looking anything up, can you arrive at a reasonable solution to a problem (within an order of magnitude)?

The questions will vary in difficulty, and you might have to make a few blind guesses for numbers. But you might know enough slightly related information to deduce a quality answer. You can use a calculator if you’d like, though paper and pen results deserve additional accolades.

Let’s look at two examples.

Question one:

How does the total volume of human blood on Earth compare to the total volume of oceans on Earth?

Question two:

What is the distance to the moon?

If you’d like, you can stop reading here and spend some time to try and figure out the two answers. Remember, you’re not allowed to look anything up. Otherwise, I’ll guide you through Jesse’s and my methods of calculating solutions to the first question and our attempts at the second.

(more…)

Driving through Meriden, CT, you might see this sign just off broad street.

However if you’re in a rush, you might not notice the bottom sign there… a sign advertising a place called “Tacos mi Nacho.” And in fact, for the past three years I didn’t notice it. I knew there was a mexican restaurant, but I never would have been able to identify the name. During a recent visit to the House of Rock, Shamus did notice and promptly pointed out the restaurant to me. For those non-Spanish speakers the name of the restaurant translates to: “Tacos my Nacho.” Awesome.

What do they serve at Tacos mi Nacho?

According to the sign: Tacos, Burritos, Quesadillas, Tortas, Tostadas, Pozole, Menudo.

Sarah and I hit up the restaurant this past Sunday and I must say, I was very very impressed. The atmosphere was nothing special, cheap looking booths and an average looking cooking area. But the quality was high and was immediately apparent when they started us off with chips and four varieties of salsa.

For the main course, both Sarah and I got burritos. Here’s a picture of Sarah with her meal.

Oh man! Talk about value for the dollar! This thing was 6$ and tasted super fresh and delicious.

Here I am having almost completed my chorizo burrito.

Overall, I rate Tacos mi Nacho with 5 out of 5 stars for value, 2 out of 5 stars for atmosphere, and 4 out of 5 stars for totally delicious. Also? 5 out of 5 stars for awesome restaurant name.

A riddle.

One hundred persons will be lined up single file, facing north. Each person will be assigned either a red hat or a blue hat (random assortment). No one can see the color of his or her own hat. However, each person is able to see the color of the hat worn by every person in front of him or her. That is, for example, the last person in line can see the color of the hat on 99 persons in front of him or her; and the first person, who is at the front of the line, cannot see the color of any hat.

Beginning with the last person in line, and then moving to the 99th person, the 98th, etc., each will be asked to name the color of his or her own hat. If the color is correctly named, the person lives; if incorrectly named, the person is shot dead on the spot. Everyone in line is able to hear every response as well as hear the gunshot; also, everyone in line is able to remember all that needs to be remembered and is able to compute all that needs to be computed.

Before being lined up, the 100 persons are allowed to discuss strategy (not wearing hats yet), with an eye toward developing a plan that will allow as many of them as possible to name the correct color of his or her own hat (and thus survive). They know all of the preceding information in this problem. Once lined up, each person is allowed only to say “Red” or “Blue” when his or her turn arrives, beginning with the last person in line. (They aren’t allowed to use code either, like using obvious different vocal pitches, or waiting to respond).
Your assignment: Develop a plan that allows as many people as possible to live. (Do not waste time attempting to evade the stated bounds of the problem — there’s no trick to the answer.)

If you think you know the answer e-mail it over to me at mikedidonato AT gmail D0T com.

I got an e-mail from Ryan Schenk the other day. Check it out:

If you draw a bounding box around Massachusetts and find the center,
turns out the middle of MA is in Rhode Island.

Where does he come up with this stuff?

When the daughters of the American derby revolution amass together, diverse crowds of adults and children gather and cheer as one. Such was the case on Saturday March 14th when the Connecticut Roller Girls mixed up their ranks into two unique teams. The St. Patrick’s cereal themed bout put the Lucky Charms versus the Cap’n Crunchers.

As our group gathered we looked at the rosters for each team and made our predictions.

The Lucky Charms
Black Cherry
Ether Bunny
C. Mya Rage
Doomcake
Liberty Violence
Pam Terror
Parker Poison
Paula G. Imnaughty
Revengela
Mona Mour (visiting from the Boston Derby Dames)

The Cap’n Crunch
Pearl Jammer
Violet Riot
Anita Guiness
Eleanor Bruisevelt
Flora Goodthyme
Luciana Pulverotti
Milla LowLife
Miz Con SepJen
Ivonna Shankabitch (visiting from the Boston Derby Dames)
Vicious Stylz (visiting from Providence Roller Derby)

I anticipated a win for Lucky Charms. Cap’n Crunch had an extremely strong Jamming team but the Charms seemed to have an equally powerful collection of pivots and blockers. Put Parker, Revengela, and Paula into the pack with Cherry or Ether as their pivot and no skater is safe. What I wasn’t anticipating was the powerful duo of Milla and Looch for the Crunchers.

With gold sequenced booty shorts and green shirts, the Lucky Charms came to the line. Doomcake would start as their jammer. Meanwhile the Cap’n Crunchers rolled up in blue tops with large gold buttons in the style of their cereal mascot. For the Charms, Pearl Jammer wore the star on her helmet.

As the bout started the cowbells rang and the crowd cheered. Pearl and Doom took off. Flora Goodthyme started the bout right with a nice clean hit on Doomcake. Doom dropped back just enough for Pearl to whip through and pull four points for her team. What followed was somewhat unexpected. Both teams started cycling through jammers.

For the Charms, Doom was followed by Pam, Black Cherry, Rage, Revengela and Mona. Meanwhile the Crunchers saw 8 different jammers before any girl put on the star for the second time. Pearl, Elle, Milla, Anita, Flora, Ivonna, and Miz all skated as jammer. The teams seemed to be conserving the strength of their jammers by rotating positions regularly early in the game. The result was a low scoring, highly defensive first half of the first period. The Lucky Charms were consistently getting lead jammer status (6 of the first 7 jams), but the Crunchers’ defense was keeping them honest. The score broke free when Pearl and Doom retook their positions as jammers. The whistles blew. Looch was acting as the pivot for the Crunchers, Parker as the pivot for the Charms. Doomcake got in front quickly, but with great skill Looch kept just in front of her. The short delay was enough for Pearl to break free and take lead jammer status. Pearl capitalized on her opportunity and pulled in an impressive 9 points before the jam concluded.

Cap’n Crunch continued their cycling of jammers and put Vicious in next against Black Cherry. The defense for the Crunchers held Cherry back, but Vicious took a nasty beating. First Pam and Paula G. Imnaughty came at her on a turn. One after another they slammed their shoulders into Vicious, knocking her down and off the track. She got back up only to feel the wrath of Black cherry and Pam. Again she was dropped to her knees. She got up once more and on the next pass Black Cherry plowed into her yet again. From the stands it seemed like Vicious’s skates left the floor on her way down. Let no one say these girls don’t put it all on the line.

Miz exacted revenge for her teammate in the next few jams. She knocked down Mona first, and then just seconds later landed a blow on Pam Terror. The Charms just couldn’t find their rhythm - testimony to the impressive work of the Crunchers’ pack.

The first half ended with a score of 10 for the Lucky Charms and 31 for the Cap’n Crunchers.

During intermission we were entertained by a small Irish band that kept the feeling light in this week of St. Patty’s day.

The last jam of the first half had ended with a trip to the penalty box for Elle. But Elle wasted no time. Entering the jam late she sprinted through the pack and grabbed lead jammer status. Interestingly, penalty box jammers seem to pull lead jamming status somewhat regularly. I’ll have to take a closer look at the data for the next few bouts, but it would seem that the opposing pack may not have a defensive mindset at the start of such jams. The result is a definitive chance for a late entering jammer to sweep through the pack unopposed. It’s certainly not worth the scoreless time in the penalty box, but it’s an interesting phenomenon nonetheless.

The start of the second half pushed the Crunchers further ahead. Elle, Pearl, and Milla collectively amassed 33 points in the first 7 jams after the intermission bringing the score to 64 - 16. But that was the end of the points for the girls in blue. The rally for the Lucky Charms began with two consecutive slams on Anita. Parker Poison took the first shot, and Black Cherry the second. Black Cherry’s hunger for blows was not subsided however, and she took it out on Ivonna in the next jam with another huge hit.

The Charms began their rally. Pam and Rage alternated jammer status deep into the second half. They were far behind and needed to cover a lot of ground, but it wasn’t an impossible task. With Ether and Cherry alternating as pivot, Rage and Pam got to work. Rage took advantage of Cherry’s hit on Ivonna and scored 8 for her team. Pam took three, Rage another 5, and Pam 5 more. But the seconds were ticking away. Despite their last push, the final score favored the Cap’n Crunchers 64 to 39.

Mike D’s top five hits of the night!
5. Late in the second half, Doomcake barreled through Violet Riot, giving Pam an opportunity for a grand slam.
4. Black Cherry drops her shoulder and, moments later, drops Anita
3. Pam and Paula’s double team of Vicious in the first half
2. Black Cherry sends Vicious into orbit
1. Luciana Pulverotti’s beautiful blocking of Doomcake in the first half, providing a 9 point opportunity for Pearl

The bout was awesome. I have developed a great respect for the defensive side of roller derby. It’s so exciting to see the strategies and the communication between skaters out in the pack. I would imagine that performing both defensively and offensively is no easy task, on wheels no less! Great job to all the players, it’s a joy to watch you skate.

Statistics!

Lead Scorers!
Lucky Charms
Pearl Jammer: 30 points and a perfect record. 6 jams, 6 leads.
Elleanor Bruisevelt: 19 points. 5 jams, 4 lead

Cap’N Crunchers
C. Mya Rage: 19 points. 6 jams, 5 lead
Pam Terror: 12 points. 8 jams, 5 lead

Total Leads
17 Lucky Charms
16 Cap’N Crunchers

Interestingly, lead jammer status was almost perfectly split between the teams. In fact, the Charms had one more than the Crunchers. This wasn’t a bout of getting up front, it was a bout that was about capitalization of opportunity.

Penalty Box:
No one skater visited the box an uncommon number of times in this bout.

MVPs
Lucky Charms: Black Cherry
Cap’N Crunchers: Luciana Pulverotti

Well deserved!

The next bout will be on April 11th. For more information check out the roller girl website here.

On Saturday March 14th, there was a charity roller derby bout hosted at the CT Sportscenter to honor and raise funds for the Children’s Hospital in Hartford. We had the added treat of a pre-bout mens match that put the St. Patricks against the Snakes. The teams were formed from five different new england derby teams:

Connecticut Death Quads (CTDQ)
New York Shock Exchange (NYSE)
Pioneer Valley Roller Derby (PVRD)
Central Mass Roller Derby (CMRD)
Quadfathers, Utica, New York (Quadfathers)

The Teams!

The St. Patricks
Motorpsycho (NYSE)
Sega Menaces (CMRD)
The Rev (PVRD)
Rollin Redshirt (PVRD)
Jurasskick Park (PVRD)
Davy Jones (PBRD)
Skatebreed (CTDQ)
Johnny Holeshot (CTDQ)
Pastor of Muppets (CTDQ)

The Snakes
Rinkworm (NYSE)
Dr. Spankenstein (PVRD)
Bazooka Joe (PVRD)
Brutus Priest (PVRD)
Zakk Sabbath (CTDQ)
Cirkle Jerk (CTDQ)
Nizz (CTDQ)
Stoneman(CTDQ)
gRambo(Quadfathers)

Instead of a full bout, this one was split into two 15 minute halves. It’s been awhile since I’ve seen men’s derby. The jams have a different feel from when the women skate. What impressed me most was the progression of those men on the Connecticut Death Quads. CT’s Johnny Holeshot started jamming for the St. Patricks, Dr. Spankenstein started for the Snakes. The last time I saw Johnny Holeshot skate he had some strength to him, but had not quite reached hero level derby skills. But sure enough, right from the onset he displayed great speed and was able to quickly snag lead jammer status from his opponent. Next up at the line was Jurasskick Park and Rinkworm. Rinkworm came out again and again for the Snakes. He was fast and quick and acted as jammer for 9 of the 22 jams (40%).

As the bout progressed a few key players showed their skating prowess. Firstly, I feel I should mention #71 The Rev (PVRD). He regularly acted as pivot for the St. Patricks and was a strong force of both offense and defense inside the pack. I was repeatedly impressed with his whips and the crushing blows he unleashed on his opponents. Jurasskick Park did not disappoint as St. Patrick’s jammer. His speed is commendable, not only while weaving between opponents, but also after falling. I’ve never seen someone get up as quickly as Jurasskick Park when knocked to the ground. He consistently would rise from a spill before even so many as two skaters had passed. Kudos to Cirkle Jerk and Zakk Sabbath as well. Apparently this was Zakk’s first bout, but that didn’t stop him from taking advantage of a great block by Cirkle Jerk deep into the first half and scoring a grand slam for the Snakes. The halftime score was 30 to 7 in favor of the St. Patricks.

The second half proceeded much like the first. For those of us watching, I think the best jam saw Johnny Holeshot up against Rinkworm. Johnny kicked it off with great speed. As they barreled through the pack, Johnny grabbed his teammate Jurasskick Park and pulled himself forward with such aggression that Jurasskick was pulled to the ground directly into the path of Rinkworm. Rinkworm tumbled and Johnny took lead jammer status. It was awesome! Interestingly, by the end of the game the lead jamming was nearly split. 12 leads for the St. Patricks and 10 leads for the Snakes. Despite this, the end score was 65 for the St. Patricks and 28 for the Snakes.

Great job guys!

Top Scorers!
Jurasskick Park: 24 points in 5 jams (3 lead)
Johnny HoleShot: 13 points in 6 jams (2 lead)
RinkWorm: 13 points in 9 jams (4 lead)
Davy Jones: 13 points in 5 jams (3 lead)

(stay tuned for the RollerGirl recap)

Here’s a photo from our Seattle adventure.

Your goal is to provide for me the exact location from where this photograph was taken. I’d recommend going into google maps and doing some digging. the best way to point out a specific spot is to right click on the google map and select “Directions to here” It will either give you a street address or a set of coordinates for longitude & latitude. Commenting with either is acceptable to win the game.

Good luck!

In the immortal words of superfan Darcy Moschenross “there was some good hittin’ tonight.” And indeed there was. It was the second of the internal bouts this season at the Connecticut Sports Center in Woodbridge and the mixed teams were extremely well crafted. The bout pitted the Mobsters against the Cops.

The crime-ridden Bella Donnas had a formidable team that included the likes of Black Cherry, Pam Terror, Eleanor Bruisevelt, Revengela, Paula G. Imnaughty, Anita Guinness, Luciana Pulverotti, Miz ConSepJen, as well as visiting players Dreadnought, Rhoda Perdition, and Killary Clinton. Girl Fawkes (injured with a torn ACL from the Pittsburgh bout) and Tina Colada helped manage the team from the sideline.

But the Hot Fuzz were not intimidated. Their team consisted of an imposing bunch with Parker Poison, Liberty Violence, Doomcake, C. Mya Rage, Ether Bunny, Flora Goodthyme, Milla LowLife, Pearl Jammer, and visiting players Lil’ Paine, Slamarella, and Xena Paradox. The Cops were supported by manager’s Vixen Von Bruizen and Dina Sore Jr.

Before the bout began we looked through the rosters. With Pearl, Doom, Milla, and Rage the Hot Fuzz had some strong jammers in their midst. But could they out-skate the hard hitting defense of the Bella Donna’s? If history has taught us anything, it’s that the likes of Miz, Paula, Looch, and Revengela show no mercy. Our early prediction? A close bout.

The bout began with Black Cherry at the line beside Doomcake. The whistles blew and their skates came to life. Black Cherry started strong working off of a decisive block by Elle which dropped Doomcake behind the pack. Cherry pulled in 6 for the mobsters. Shortly thereafter, Elle came up against Rage and added 8 points. Pearl, known for her unnatural agility on wheels, snagged lead jamming status for the Fuzz, but it was not meant to be. She had only scored a single point when she was abruptly flattened by Pam Terror’s unforgiving shoulder.

The points kept adding up for the Bella Donna’s. Their team saw a huge surge in points as the first half came to a close. Over the last 6 jams of the first half Elle, Cherry, and Revengela collectively amassed 33 points to the meager 10 for the Fuzz. The half closed at 50 points for the mobsters and only 22 for the Fuzz.

Jammer Black Cherry escapes a close call

How could this be?! The teams had seemed so well matched. Outside of an 8 point jam by Doom and a 5 point sprint by Rage the girls in blue had seen little success. Both teams were successful in getting in front, in fact lead jamming status was nearly perfectly split between the teams for the first half, but the mobsters were successful in capitalizing on their opportunities.

The second half started with the teams at a strategic impasse. First, Pam tried to keep up the momentum for the mobsters against Doomcake. But the two roller girls were too closely matched. Doom snagged lead jammer status… but only just barely and had to call off the jam early lest her team lose precious time and energy with unproductive jams.

Doom sneaks ahead of Pam at the start of the second half

The next jam it was Elle’s turn to snag jammer status away from Pearl only to find herself ending the jam before any points could be earned. Lil’ Paine went next and once again found herself having to end the jam without points.

Milla LowLife finally brought it home for the cops. She was jamming against hard-hitting Revengela but the Cop pack had Milla’s back. As Milla raced by her teammates, Doom held Revengela back (figuratively, not literally. Holding is against the rules.) Milla was facing some tough opposition at the front, but her teammate Ether Bunny executed a brilliant whip hurling Milla forward and just barely… just barely out of reach of the tidal wave of mobster defense crashing at her heels.

Milla (#40 oz.) races to give her team some needed motivation

Milla took in five points for the Cops. And at that pivotal point the Hot Fuzz was back in the game. Pearl followed Milla and took three points. Lil’ Pain tied Pam with 3’s, and then Pearl’s skates came alive. She skated furiously through an gap Parker Poison opened for her and lapped the pack twice for 10. Milla came in and promptly added 9 more to the score.

The 38 point gap had narrowed to a mere 9 points. Pearl came to the line against Rhoda Perdition. Pearl rushed to the front of the pack and quickly drew into the imposing shadows of Elle and Miz. In a whirl of skates and speed, Pearl nimbly swerved around the opposing blockers, took lead status, and narrowed the mobsters lead to four. Lil’ Paine followed and, as the minutes ticked away, she brought the game to a tie.

stunned reactions from the crowd!

The cops had found success in their relentless jammers and the strong support from the Hot Fuzz pack. Pearl put the mobsters in their place with two more points and as the minutes dipped to seconds Doom closed the jail cell for good with a ten point jam. Black Cherry almost broke her team out in the final jam with a proud 8 points, but when the buzzer sounded, victory sided with the Fuzz.

Statistics!

High scorers
Cops
Pearl 25 points in 10 jams. Lead 6/10
Doom 21 points in 9 jams. Lead 4/10

Mobsters
Cherry 32 points in 9 jams. Lead 5/9
Eleanor 25 points in 7 jams. Lead 3/7

Penalties
It was a low penalty game. The most trips any player took to the box was 3. There was no true Queen of the penalty box in this bout.

MVP
Cops: Milla LowLife
Mobsters: Miz ConSepJen

MVP’s

A great job to all the players and staff who really put it on the line to make these events a success. Saturday night’s bout was truly everything a fan could hope for. Well done!! A special welcome to Anita Guinness and Liberty Violence who debuted on Saturday. Great job! We’re all looking forward to more hard hitting from you.

If any readers would like to participate in the action, or just come to check out the Charity bout on March 14th, you can find more information at the Roller Girl website: CTRollerDerby.com

Special thanks to Darcy for the photographs.